The Importance of Recon Work
by save-ferrls
Summary: My first fanfic. All Huddy... a little O/C too. Good times.
1. Kelsey Hessler

Okay, first off, I'd just like to say that I've never done this before. I've never written a FanFic, I've never written anything remotely creative, so... please be gentle. That being said, I should probably let all readers know that yes, this is a Huddy Fic. It pretty much takes place around season 3, with the old team, before Luddy and Mayfield, Kutner, Amber, etc etc etc. This fic does have some OC's that I've created myself... just weird one's that I thought people might enjoy. Lastly, this is supposed to be kind of fun. Fun for me to write and fun for others to read, so without further ado... happy reading and I hope to hear from some readers :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except for OC's). Everything else belongs to FOX, without whom, I would have nothing to do on my Monday nights (well, except homework).  
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**Chapter 1: Kelsey Hessler**

It had been a relatively normal morning at Princeton Plainsboro. People came, people went. Everything was business as usual. However, for one Dr. Gregory House, it was the day he heard about a hot patient being held for observation on the third floor. He decided to investigate, knowing that he could both see if the rumor was true for himself AND manage to avoid clinic duty and Cuddy in this random and desolate area of the hospital. It was a win-win.

Once on the third floor, he made his way down the long corridor to the patient's room and entered without knocking. The patient, who had been silently reading, jumped in surprise as her focus quickly shifted towards the tactless man who had just barged in.

House stood there staring. The rumors were true! This woman was very good-looking. She had long reddish-blonde hair, high cheek bones, a sweet set of knockers, and even though she was sitting down, he could tell her a$$ was nice too. This woman was stacked, but he knew someone else with looks superior even to this chick. His mind began to wander…

--"Uhh… can I help you?"

"**Nope," he responded with non-chalance and moved towards her bed to get her file. "Kelsey Hessler. Seriously? That's your name? Wow, I'm surprised your cheer squad hasn't invaded yet to rescue their favorite stunt girl. I mean, at least before the mean doctors find out how many eating disorders you **_**actually**_** have…"**

Kelsey studied the abrasive doctor silently before responding.

"Okay… you're clearly not one for introductions, so I guess I'll just jump right in too. I haven't been a cheerleader since high school. It was something I was interested in then, but realized shortly after that I was too smart and liked food too much to put up with all that crap. You have to know by the little stare-down you gave me when you walked in the room that I don't have an eating disorder. On top of that, I've gathered that you're a doctor, albeit not the conventional type, but rather the misanthropic and defensive type and would know by reading my file that I'm not here to be treated for an eating disorder. Yes, Kelsey is my name, and believe me, you're not the only one who doesn't like it. I'd much rather have a name that doesn't make me come off as an airhead, something like Harper."

House smirked, pleasantly surprised with her quick and witty retort, but still not completely convinced she wasn't an idiot.

"**You're twenty-one years old and a product of your age. Of course you'd want a name like Harper. Tell me, which Hollywood starlet gave their brat that name?"**

--"Do I have the word 'moron' written on me somewhere? I don't like that name because of some stupid celebrity, I like it because it's the name of the author of my favorite book. Harper Lee… "To Kill A Mockingbird." Perhaps you've heard of it."

_Definitely not an idiot_, House thought to himself. Her last little outburst and coherent rationalization was enough to prove that much. Now, he was interested.

"**So… you're here because you had a panic attack. We've obviously established that it's not because your cheer squad chose the pink ribbons over the purple, so what gives?"**

--"I'm a full-time student at NYU. I'm studying to become an English teacher there. It's been a rough semester on me; I'm taking five English classes, working part-time, and I've just become a vegetarian. Over the last week I've had three exams, three papers and thirty hours of work. On top of that, my body doesn't like the multi-vitamin that I've just started taking, so I've been throwing up every day _and_ I haven't been sleeping. I'm pretty sure that's what caused my panic attack, but then again, I'm no doctor."

"**Are you still taking your vitamins, because it kind of smells like puke in here…"**

--"No. It's from the medication I'm on. Buspar? They told me it could make me vomit… and it did, but I don't mind too much. It's better than some of those other anxiety medications that make you groggy or just flat-out sedate you."

"**Do you know that from experience, or are you also studying to become a doctor who can correct the poor grammar of her future patients?"**

--"A couple of years ago, my mother started having these weird episodes. They gave her Ativan for her anxiety. I knew that I'd end up the same way, since we're pretty much the same person. I just thought the whole anxiety thing wouldn't set in so soon. C'est la vie, I suppose."

House paused, not wanting to get further into her personal life. He didn't care that much. In fact he was ready to have a little fun. He turned around and opened the blinds to the glass wall of the patient's room and prompted her to a little game, hoping that she was as laid back as she appeared and would agree to play along.

"**I find the extent of your general intuition fairly appealing. What say you to a little game of "Would You Hit That"?"**

Kelsey raised her eyebrows, a little surprised, but smirked and responded to the obnoxious doctor with, "I say, game on."

A/N: So, what do you think? Remember, I'm new at this, so be gentle, but comments are certainly welcome! :)

...also I should note that I really have nothing against cheerleaders. I cheered for three years in high school. lol.


	2. Would You 'Hit' That?

Hello all! I was pleasantly suprised to see that I had a few comments on this Fic already. Happy day! To my few followers, I'd like to say that you have the advantage of having a neurotic writer with very little patience. I have a few chapters done ahead of time and just can't seem to pace myself with posting. Oh well, maybe once school starts back up, I'll be able to set a decent tempo. Until then, enjoy, have fun, and don't hesitate to comment! :)

I'll try to do a recap before every new chapter for clarification purposes. Just FYI.  
---As far as this chapter goes, it's game time. *wink*

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). Everything else belongs to FOX.  
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**Chapter 2: Would You 'Hit' That?**

**Recap:** House paused, not wanting to get further into her personal life. He didn't care that much. In fact he was ready to have a little fun. He turned around and opened the blinds to the glass wall of the patient's room and prompted her to a little game, hoping that she was as laid back as she appeared and would agree to play along.

"**I find the extent of your general intuition fairly appealing. What say you to a little game of "Would You Hit That"?"**

Kelsey raised her eyebrows, a little surprised, but smirked and responded to the obnoxious doctor with, "I say, game on."

House began by pointing at himself with a devilish grin.

"**Let's start with the obvious."**

**--**"Fine. I'll tell it like it is, but then we move on. With me, I can definitely tell that you'd hit it. No commentary is needed from you; I'd rather not risk getting creeped out. With you, I'd hit it and quit it. Older men are sexy, but I don't think I'd have the energy or the effort to keep you around for very long. Who's next?"

They both looked out the window and focused on certain passers by and gave their answers.

Kelsey pointed at Cameron as she walked by.

--"Her?"

House scoffed. "**No way. Too needy… and annoying… and the list could go on." **House pointed at Chase several seconds later as he passed through going the other way. **"Him?"**

**--**"He looks like an a$$-kisser, which could be nice, but I don't think that I would want someone so submissive. I'll pass."

House made it a special effort to point Wilson out when he walked by (luckily not spotting his friend actually with a patient for once… even if it wasn't one of his own). House waited to hear Kelsey's response on Wilson.

--"Oh God, how many times has that guy been married?"

"**How can you tell that he's been married?" **House was fairly impressed with her. Most women just 'oohed' and 'aahed' over the Boy Wonder, but this chick saw through his chivalric façade.

--"Well, look at him. He's freaking adorable, but at the same time, you get that whole "ladies man" vibe. It just makes me think he's a serial groom. So how many times?"

"**Three."**

--"Damn… sometimes I hate being right. Ha-ha. I think I'd hit it anyway…"

"**I'm honestly not surprised. Ugh! Nurse Brenda! I would NOT hit that. Not ever. Total b!tch."**

--"I can tell. The boss must like her, since she walks around like she's superior in some way. She definitely gives off a kind of b!tch vibe. I wouldn't hit that either, let alone touch her with a ten foot pole. I wouldn't want to interfere with the one that's already shoved up her a$$." They laughed together, having way too much fun ridiculing and mocking the people that House had to see on a daily basis. It seems, however, that they were enjoying themselves a little too much because neither had noticed the petite administrator who had clicked her way into the room with a look of irritation on her face. House had finally been found by his favorite and least favorite boss, once again avoiding clinic duty.

Cuddy stood there in silence, waiting for House to realize that she was there, ready to rip him a new one. Unfortunately, his execution was postponed when the pretty patient noticed her first.

--"Holy sh^t! I'd hit that until someone had a coronary…"

Cuddy's focus went from House directly to Kelsey in slight shock and disbelief… as did House's from Cuddy. There was a small silence before everyone started to respond. Cuddy chose to ignore Kelsey's little outburst, House… not so much.

"_House! What the hell are you doing up here?"_

"**Wait, you're bisexual?!"**

**--**"Good God, I am now…"

"_House, you're supposed to be down in the clinic!"_

"**Seriously?"**

--"Oh, hell yes. Have you _seen_ this woman?"

"_House!"_

"**Welcome to my Fave Five, Kels."**

--"I thank you, sir. Seriously, is this your boss? Is she always like this? Not that I care, mind you. The whole hostility thing is… _appealing _to say the least_._"

"_I don't know if I should be flattered or freaked out right now… Doesn't matter anyway because I'm being ignored! Ugh! HOUSE!"_

"**Cuddy's almost always like this… it's why she's so annoying and also the reason I wouldn't 'hit' it. Too much administrative need. It's a total turn-off. Which reminds me, I should probably address the elephant in the room, well… both of them if you include her a$$." **

--"Include it, address it, tap it, whatever! Ha-ha."

And with that House stood up with a smile and Cuddy violently dragged him out into the hall, where they went twenty rounds before she clicked away victoriously and House slowly made his way down to the clinic. Kelsey, who had watched the whole thing, was devising a little plan of her own. She could tell that the two obviously had some kind of feelings for one another (especially House), and yet they both totally denied it, putting on a show to make everyone believe that there was nothing but irritation, fury, and hate sown into their bantering. Kelsey knew better, and she wanted to help things along. She picked up her book again to pass the time until the obnoxious Dr. House came to see her once more… then she'd get to work.

A/N: Boom! Hope you all liked this, I was going for really playful dialogue... Next chapter will be called **"The Proposition"**. Comment!!! :)


	3. The Proposition

Okay, I'm back again. I was hoping that I could demonstrate enough patience to wait and post after [H]ouse tomorrow night (SQUEEEEE!!!), but I couldn't. I kept thinking about how I had to work tonight and wanted to have a little fun before I did so.

This chapter is kind of short. It's really just setting things up for events (and chapters to come). Hoping everything doesn't seem too out of character. Enjoy and as always, please feel free to comment :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). Everything else is owned by FOX.  
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**Chapter 3: The Proposition**

**Recap:** Kelsey could tell that the two obviously had some kind of feelings for one another (especially House), and yet they both totally denied it, putting on a show to make everyone believe that there was nothing but irritation, fury, and hate sown into their bantering. Kelsey knew better, and she wanted to help things along. She picked up her book again to pass the time until the obnoxious Dr. House came to see her once more… then she'd get to work.

--"If you're here to help me into my pajamas, you're too late. If you're here to read me a bedtime story, you're even later… a little over fifteen years to be exact."

House rolled his eyes at Kelsey from the doorway of her room. It was late, but House had a case and needed someone to talk to-- help him get his mind going so he could find his diagnosis and finally go the hell home. He thought that she'd be a fun enough candidate, that and he didn't think that she'd annoy him any more than Wilson would. Too bad for him, he didn't know what Kelsey had planned.

House had plopped down into the chair next to Kelsey's bed and janked the remote to the television and switched it over to a monster truck rally. Kelsey then began her little interrogation.

--"So how long have you known that boss lady?"

House took his time, recalling how different things were twenty odd years ago when they had first met. She was just as high-strung and ambitious and her raven hair was longer then. He knew the first time he encountered that overachieving woman with unsurpassed beauty _and_ mind enough to keep up with him that he… that he… What was the question, again?

"**Met her in college. You should've seen what she looked like then. She'd certainly put the Olsen twins to shame… and that's saying something."**

--"Okay, so you've known her for what, twenty-ish years? How come you've never hit that, or at least tried to for that matter? You'd be an idiot not to… Wait, she's not a total skank is she?"

"**How do you think she got to be the second youngest dean of a hospital and be the first woman?"**

--"Please, tell me you're kidding…"

House didn't respond, but Kelsey knew he was kidding after studying his face. She could just tell that it was part of his misanthropic façade and fitting to his constant need to deflect from reality. This just made her all the more confident with her little plan.

--"Okay… I'm not going to beat around the bush with this. I'm too bored with back-handed conversation, so I'm just going to come out and say it."

"**You're really a man aren't you? Damn, I knew you were too good to be true. No wonder you play for both teams you dirty little minx… or should I call you a fox?"**

--"I know that you like Dr. Cuddy, I mean as more than a friend or co-worker. I think you'd have to be a complete idiot not to see the sexual tension that surrounds all that bickering you two do together... but there's something more. I really think you like her. From what I can gather, she's obviously very pretty, but I think that's only part of what makes her appealing to you. She's clearly intelligent because of her occupation, but I think her intellect might go a step further. She can keep up with you… well, better than a lot of other people can, anyway. I may be young and I might not have a whole lot of experience in matters regarding the heart, but holy crap. You two need to get over yourselves and jump each other before someone goes crazy… even though I think you're already half-way there."

House broke his focus on the TV and stared at Kelsey in disbelief. _Wow, she's just like Wilson,_ he thought to himself. He needed to shut it down and get her to drop it before he got frustrated with himself and with her for pushing him on such a sensitive topic. Sure he wanted Cuddy, but they had an awkward history and an even more unconventional relationship now as friends… if that's what you wanted to call them.

"**Been there, done that, kid. Now go back to your coloring, so Daddy can finish his show."** He turned his focus back to the TV, hoping that would shut her up, but his efforts were futile.

--"Well, if that's true, then it should help your case. I'm not proposing you get married or anything, I just want to help you get her. What you do after that is strictly up to you, I suppose, but like it or not, I'm offering my services to help you. Before you feign your ba$tard-like disposition and storm out of here after insulting my mother, I should mention that anything you say will upset me and seeing as how I purposely didn't take my anxiety medication this afternoon, it's likely that you'll make me have another panic attack." She smiled at her last words and implored House for an answer with her wide blue eyes, knowing that he'd cave eventually.

"**Well you've clearly ruled out the tranny diagnosis with your little speech there. There's no doubt in my mind that you're all female. Good God, you're too annoying to be anything else!"**

Kelsey just sat there in silence, waiting for House to give her an answer.

…

…

…

…

…

"**I've tried all this before and it didn't work, if anything, it just made things worse between us for awhile. I had help that time too… it's no use. Mommy and Daddy need to see other people, so drop it."**

--"You had help? What from some moronic male who wouldn't know what a woman wanted even if she spelled it out for him? Come on, you'd be at an advantage this time around. I'm a chick, I get how other chicks function, their MO… plus you said yourself that I'm intuitive. Ugh! Come onnnnn… just say yes, so we can move on!"

House considered her proposition seriously. Wilson was kind of an idiot when it came to women, he couldn't deny that much. Sure he'd been married three times, but he'd also been divorced as many times too. Maybe there was logic to her argument. Maybe this time it could be different for him. After a long silence, House looked up at Kelsey with a smirk… he had finally found his diagnosis. With that, he got up and left the room with a determined and almost happy look on his face. Kelsey, on the other hand, was confused beyond belief with his behavior. Just when she thought he had rejected her plan and found herself thanking God that she actually _had_ taken her medication earlier, House popped his head back in her room.  
"**Alright Chica, let's play it your way, but I warn you… this won't be easy for anyone."**

He walked back out of the room at a hurried pace… whether it was because he was hurrying to cure his patient, or because he was running away from changing his mind, he wasn't quite sure. He didn't know if this was the greatest idea, but he was going to find out.

A/N: Anyone overly curious as to what they're gonna do? Comments!  
Next Chapter: **"A Little Recon Work (Part I)"**


	4. A Little Recon Work Part I

Well, I made it through the long night without posting... Maybe it had something to do with the AMAZING episode of House last night! Seriously... soooo good! It totally made waiting two months for a new epi WORTH IT!

Back to the Fic. Like I said in one of my earlier posts, this is my favorite chapter (so far) and it's divided into two parts. I'll post part two later this week after I get some responses from you all... I hope you like this. Happy reading and please comment! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 4: A Little Recon Work (Part I)**

**Recap: **"**Alright Chica, let's play it your way, but I warn you… this won't be easy for anyone." **He walked back out of the room at a hurried pace… whether it was because he was hurrying to cure his patient, or because he was running away from changing his mind, he wasn't quite sure. He didn't know if this was the greatest idea, but he was going to find out.

It was early afternoon the next day when House had finally cured and discharged his patient. He was resting in his office playing with his favorite ball when Kelsey walked through the door, clad not in a patient gown, but yoga pants and a NYU t-shirt.

"**What's with the get-up? Tired of looking like you escaped from a psyche ward, or has your sense of vanity kicked in and you just want to put all of your **_**assets**_** on display?"**

--"Okay, first of all, I got tired of all the patronizing questions from your staff while I was wandering the corridors. Second, believe it or not, I'm more comfortable wearing pants than a 'gown' that relies on a string to conceal my so-called assets. Last, stop being an a$$ or else I won't help you get any."

House gave her a small smirk and nodded his head in agreement. He didn't really know why he wanted her help, but he did. He just felt like the extent of her intuit and her ability to read people so effectively could really be put to an advantage… his advantage.

--"By the way, on the subject of getting a$$... I know I said I didn't care what you did if my plans work out, but I hope for the sakes of all parties involved that you're not just doing this to get laid. That being said, I have a few ideas, but I'm not sure of how effective they'll be. I need to see you two interact a few more times together before I make any resolute suggestions. If you don't mind, Dr. House, I'd like to follow you around today to do a little recon work."

With that, House smirked again, rose from his chair, and gradually made his way down to the clinic, Kelsey following him close behind.

When they finally got downstairs, House of course was in the clinic, but not seeing patients. House had locked the door, so when Cuddy did find him, it would give Kelsey enough time to hide herself in the small supply closet inside the clinic room. The two were watching his favorite soap opera on his mini-TV, waiting for Cuddy to find them… well, him. It wasn't very long before they heard the door-knob rattle and the clinking of a set of keys. Kelsey quickly hid herself in the closet, leaving it open just a crack so that she could see what was going on. She needed to see how Cuddy reacted to some of House's mannerisms.

"_House, I cannot even begin to tell you how NOT in the mood I am to have this argument with you again. Do your clinic hours. Treat patients. If you do, I just might be moved enough to postpone murdering you and then burning your desecrated body."_

House popped a vicodin before responding.

"**I always knew you wanted to do things to my body, you naughty woman. All in good time, Cuddles, but this is neither the time nor the place. My show is on you see…"**

Before House could finish what he was saying, Cuddy had huffed in irritation and seized him by the ear, letting him know that she'd had enough of his crap for the time being.

"_DON'T call me Cuddles! I'm sending a patient in here and so help me God, House, if I hear one more negative word about you, your attitude, or your whereabouts, I'll have you swabbing crotches until you start collecting social security checks or until one of your patients actually succeeds in killing you, whichever comes first!"_ Cuddy then released House and left the room to call the patient she promised him. While back in the clinic room, he and Kelsey had a small discussion on tactics.

--"Wow, she's feisty! Okay, definitely try not to pop pills around her. She doesn't seem to like it too much. I mean, she obviously gets that you need them, but try not to flaunt it around her. It just seems like you're rubbing your love for vicodin in her face. I think it annoys her."

"**I can manage that… even though the woman gives me a terrible headache every time I see her. It could be the clicking of her heels… or hell, maybe it's just the screeching sound of that harpy's voice that does it."**

--"Stop deflecting, we don't have time for you to "make me think you don't like her;" we've been over all of this. I don't think you should stop making her life hell altogether, but maybe tone it down a little. How many times a day do you bother her?"

"**I'd say between five and fifteen…"**

--"Cut it in half. Also, I'm wondering if the sexual harassment is necessary. She really seemed to dislike it, but I don't know, she also seemed way crankier today than she did yesterday when I first saw her. I need you to confront her again and use more sexual harassment to see how badly she reacts to it, but not today. I think if you did that today, she really would kill you. Tomorrow."

House laughed at his upcoming assignment, already thinking of what he'd say to that minx of an administrator. Tomorrow, he knew he'd either be dead or wishing he was, but he still couldn't wait.

Kelsey slipped out of the room and returned to her own on the third floor. House on the other hand, actually did what he was told and spent the rest of the day swabbing crotches and persuading idiots that they didn't have H1N1 down in the clinic.  
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A/N: Can you see why this is my favorite chapter so far? lol.


	5. A Little Recon Work Part II

Here's part two of my favorite chapter. Heehee. I hope you enjoy it. It still makes me laugh... hoping it has the same effect on my readers!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). Everything else belongs to FOX... lucky ba$tards lol.

* * *

**Chapter 5: A Little Recon Work (Part II)**

The next morning couldn't come soon enough for House. He had been thinking all night about all the raunchy and inappropriate things that he was going to say to Cuddy… all in the name of 'science'. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't more than a little disappointed that he got a case first thing the next morning. He was busy trying to treat a 24 year-old male with headaches, vertigo, and an enlarged spleen, and sadly was not able to meet with Kelsey. He paged Wilson to get her later and have them both meet him down in the cafeteria for lunch.

Twelve-thirty rolled around and James Wilson appeared at the door of Kelsey's room with a cordial smile on his face.

--"Dr. Wilson."

"You must be Kelsey… otherwise I'd feel like a total jerk if I didn't know you when you so obviously know who I am."

--"No worries. From what I've heard, you're not the jerk of this hospital. However, I have been thoroughly warned by House about how annoying you are, but I don't think I could trust the word of a forty-something-year-old man who owns a hand-held video game."

The two chuckled and made small talk all the way down to the hospital's cafeteria, where they were greeted by House, who was nothing short of energized and beaming with excitement. House and Kelsey stood in front of Wilson in line and discussed how certain events were going to go down within the next couple of hours.

"**So, I thought I could go to her office around one-ish. She'll just be getting back from lunch, I think."**

--"House, I can't hide in there! Who knows how long I'd have to wait for that workaholic to leave so that I could sneak out. No, no… it needs to be in one of the hospital corridors, but not a very crowded one. An audience might tamper with her mood. I noticed that the fifth floor always seems pretty quiet. The only thing is, how do we get her to look for you up there?"

"_**That**_** I can help with. I'm wanting to remove my patient's spleen. I'll just do it without getting her permission. That would piss her off enough to send her out looking for me. I'll just chill on the fifth floor for awhile. Hey listen, is it cool if I give you a little preview down here in the cafeteria? I've been dying to do something all morning…"**

--"Ha-ha. Sure, why not? Just keep it minimal, I'm talking like two or three things and then just drop it… and don't go out of your way to get to her either. Let her come to you."

Wilson finally decided to try to figure out what the two delinquents were up to.

"Who's coming?"

"**Past tense, Wilson… and it was your mom."**

--"Oh sick burn, and yes, there's a double meaning in that."

Wilson rolled his eyes and sighed in resignation as the three found a table to seat themselves at. Lunch from then on had been fairly uneventful, that is until Cuddy sashayed through the double doors of the cafeteria, leaving House and Kelsey with wide grins on their faces and Wilson left once again, in a state of confusion.

The smiles on Kelsey and House's faces widened when Cuddy made her way towards their table.

"**Dr. Cuddy, what a coincidence, we were just talking about how you resembled this fruit here."**

"_Uh… how exactly do I resemble fruit?"_

"**Well, these apples for example… they're round, firm and delicious… but enough about your breasts. What can I do for you on this fine morning?"**

Cuddy paused and chose to ignore his former statement and went on with the conversation.

"_How's your patient? I heard he gave Cameron quite the scare this morning…"_

"**Patient's fine. Well, not really. His spleen is engorged and overly squishy… kind of like that tukkis of yours, Cuddles. Don't worry though, Daddy will make you proud."**

"_Well, see that 'Daddy' does… and don't call me that."_

With that Cuddy turned on her heels and started walking away. House couldn't resist. He had to have the last word.

"**Hey Cuddles, you should call me Daddy like that more often! I was thinking like maybe when we're…" **Just then, before House could finish, Kelsey shut him up with a quick nudge of her elbow.

From what she could see, Kelsey thought Cuddy had mixed feelings about being sexually harassed by House. She couldn't tell if she was angry, embarrassed, freaked out, or a combination of the three. There was something else in there that she just couldn't quite identify. She knew she'd have to pay close attention on the fifth floor before she knew anything definitive.

* * *

About four hours later, House's patient had a diagnosis: polycythemia vera, but only after he removed the patient's spleen (without Cuddy's permission) did he figure that out. Everything was going to plan. Kelsey and House were lounging on a bench on the fifth floor, talking quietly about some of the books Kelsey was reading for her literature classes.

House heard it first, followed by Kelsey and they smiled at each other deviously. The faint clicking of a very expensive pair of Dolce's could be heard approaching. It was not a drill… it was show time. Kelsey made like she was going to get up and hide, but hesitated and turned to House.

--"I think I'm going to stay here and watch the show if that's alright with you. I feel like I'd be at a better advantage if I can see her facial expressions up close. Don't worry, I'll do my best to keep my trap shut."

"**Fine with me… I always perform better with an audience. And yes, that is a metaphor."**

The two then stood up and made their way down the corridor, meeting a very irked Cuddy somewhere in the middle.

"**Dr. Cuddy. I was just noticing as you were quite tauntingly walking this way that you're not wearing any underwear underneath that skin-tight skirt of yours today… Do you have a hot date later, or does it just make it easier to metaphorically screw over the hospital's biggest donors? Oh wait, that wasn't a metaphor…"**

There it was, Cuddy's first reaction; Kelsey studied it closely without drawing attention to herself. _Definitely a little anger there, maybe pride? Well, that makes sense, he's talking about her duties to the hospital. Not a whole lot of embarrassment, but he's just getting started… what is THAT? Come on, House, do it again, I need to know what that is…_ Kelsey stopped studying Cuddy's face for a brief second to re-insert her focus into the banter-fest.

"_I'm going to overlook the fact that you've once again reduced my job to sexual favors and get to the real reason why I've been looking for you. You cut out a 24-year-old male's spleen without my permission? Seeing as how I haven't been sedated, drugged or flat-out insane in the past four hours, I am POSITIVE that I did NOT give you carte blanche, therefore, I am dying to know why you did this."_

"**I knew it would make you angry, and what can I say, an angry Cuddy is a sexy Cuddy. You're into bondage, right?"**

Kelsey again saw that odd expression on Cuddy's face. Wait… was that what she thought it was? She had to jump in and set House up for another one.

-"Here, would you like to use my pen to stab him in the jugular? I saw it in a movie once and it seemed to work quite effectively."

"_Thank you, no. I'd much rather kill him with my bare hands."_

"**Ooh, you know what else I'd like you to do to me with your bare hands?"**

Kelsey watched Cuddy again and there it was, clear as day. She couldn't believe it… She was so shocked that she couldn't keep it to herself anymore.

--"OH. MY. _GOD!_"

House turned to her with a smirk, knowing that she'd just figured something amazing out. Cuddy just thought that she was reacting to House's crude comment.

"_You owe me fifty hours down in the clinic for your little stunt; get moving."_

"**Oh, but I was hoping that you'd walk away first so I could get a good look at that delicious tush of yours. It makes it easier to think about you in the shower with a fresh image of you in my mind. No matter, I'll just go with Life-guard Cuddy Classic. What color bikini would you prefer, black or lavender?"**

"_House. Go. Now!"_

House took a step forward and closed the gap between him and Cuddy, took a deep breath and shamelessly scanned the entire length of her body, pausing with his eyes in some key areas and whispered to her…

"**Always a pleasure, Cuddles."**

He then turned on his heels and made his way towards the elevators. Kelsey paused to study Cuddy's face once more.

--"Ohmygod." She said to Cuddy with a smile, then turned and followed after House. Once they were both alone in the elevator, Kelsey shared her information.

--"She likes it! I can't even believe it, she deals with all of your crap on a daily basis, you torment her to no end, and still when you sexually harass her SHE ACTUALLY LIKES IT! She's either really kinky or a total masochist. Please keep your opinions on _that_ to yourself."

House chuckled, not really too surprised that Cuddy like being harassed by him. He had always kind of suspected it, but it was nice to see that he wasn't the only one who thought so.

--"This just turned into the biggest game of foreplay ever. Okay, well we know she likes your naughty side, so let's focus on your nice side for the time being."

House just gave her a look of scrutiny.

--"Don't worry, I'll tell you what to do. Meet me later after you've done your clinic duty, and try not to get into any trouble."

"**Yeah, let's see how well that goes…"** With that, he stepped off the elevator on the ground floor and limped his way towards the clinic where Kelsey was sure he was going to go out of his way to wreak havoc.

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A/N: Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Comment!!! :)


	6. The Nice List

Okay... I figured I'd might as well post another chapter. I've been getting some great feedback from you all (which I really appreciate).

I'm having a little case of writer's block right now. I'm pretty sure it has a lot to do with classes starting back up again here. I know what I want to write, but I'm not sure how to go about it. That being said, I don't know when I'll post the chapter after this... I want to get my next chapter done first. I like to have at least two complete ahead of schedule...

Ha. Sidenote: In one of my classes yesterday we took a little survey to find out what kind of teacher we'll be. I got Gold... aka the anal retentive one. Not surpised... I'm the girl who has to have chapters written ahead of time for her Huddy Fic! lol.

Anywho, this is once again, another filler chapter; it's just getting things set up for the next couple of chapters. Let me know what you think! Happy Huddy reading :)

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**Chapter 6: The Nice List**

**Recap: **"This just turned into the biggest game of foreplay ever. Okay, well we know she likes your naughty side, so let's focus on your nice side for the time being."

It was a little after 8pm and the long corridors at PPTH had silenced. House, who had just finished his four hour stint of clinic duty, made his way up to the third floor. Exhausted and sleep deprived, as always, the journey took some time. When he finally reached Kelsey's room, he was relieved to find her sitting in the chair reading to herself, leaving the bed unoccupied and wide open for House to collapse on it, if he so chose… which of course he did.

--"So, how much hell did you cause in the clinic today?"

House muttered his answer into the pillow, making it completely impossible for Kelsey to know what he'd said. She assumed the reason he was mumbling was because he knew she wouldn't like his answer. Turns out, she was wrong.

--"Seriously?! Come on House, I can't undo everything! I'm not magic, I don't have a time-machine or the ability to erase someone's mind! If you want this to work, you're going to have to put forth some effort. I know you have the ability to be nice, I've seen it!"

"**Hey, Emily Rose! Why don't you stop projectile vomiting your reprimands at me? In case you didn't hear me, **_**Grandma**_**, I said that I actually didn't cause any trouble down in the clinic today at all. Take a pill…"**

_Oh… Good grief, he was only mumbling because he's embarrassed that he didn't cause any trouble. Didn't take him for a mumbler. He's almost kind of sweet when he's like this… but in a childish kind of way. I wonder if Cuddy likes that about him… Anyway, back on track, Kels._

--"Oh… well good. Sorry I went off on you. Okay, now for the reason you're here. You're going to be nice, House. Well, nicer than usual and don't worry, it's all just little things. We don't want people to freak out and make them think that the apocalypse is upon us. I'm going to give you a small list of things that I want you to do over the next two days. You can add things to it if you like, and you are certainly free to improvise. These are just things to help make Cuddy's life a little easier in the House department and to help her see that you have the ability to do so."

With that, Kelsey got up and retrieved a piece of paper from her book-bag and handed it to House, which he took and read almost immediately. To his surprise and relief, the list was quite short.

1. Wear your lab coat (for at least an hour… long enough to actually be seen).

2. Open the door for her at least once.

3. Get through an entire DAY of clinic duty without getting into trouble.

4. Smile at her.

He rolled his eyes at the fourth item on the list, annoyed most by it.

"_**Smile**_** at her? I smile at her all the time…"**

--"No. You give her wiry grins to let her know that you're picturing her naked or about ready to do something you're not supposed to. I mean a genuine smile. One without any negative thought behind it… and save me your deflections. This will all be easier if I just give you the list and set you free. I don't care how you do it, I don't need to see it, you don't even have to discuss it with me later, just get it done, House. You have two days… Oh, one more thing! Try to keep it G-rated, I mean, don't do that thing where you shove everything into overdrive. Be subtle, use tact. I know you have the ability to, so don't even try to contest it with me. Now get."

House slowly made his way back to the door, ready to finally go home and get some sleep. He stopped in his tracks, a little unsure of his new assignment, popped a vicodin, and turned back to Kelsey.

"**What about everyone else? Wilson… my team? I don't want…" **But before he could finish his musings of uncertainty, Kelsey cut him off.

--"I told you I wasn't a moron. I knew that would bother you and I've already taken care of it. I told Chase that we had a bet going. He's the one with the big mouth right? Needless to say, the people you're worried about will not be a problem. Good luck, House; I'll see you on Thursday. I have made a lovely little plan for lunch… for all three of us."

House rolled his eyes and exited the room before he could really process what she had just said. _The three of us?_ He threw his head back to signify his reluctant submission to this crazy girl's plan. The next two days were going to be very interesting, to say the least… then it would be Thursday.

A/N: (:D) Comments!!!


	7. Mr Nice Guy? Day One

Ach. Well it appears that flattery will get you anything. *sigh* Here's another chapter.

For those of you who don't like our favorite doctor to get too nice or sappy, (*cough* Jehabib1), don't let this chapter fool you. He's still the same old misanthropic and funny House. :)

You best be giving me comments after this... ha.

Disclaimer: Own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else... lucky ba$tards. lol.

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**Chapter 7: Mr. Nice Guy? (Day One)**

**Recap: **The next two days were going to be very interesting, to say the least… then it would be Thursday.

House's alarm went off at 6:30am. With reluctance and a groan, he got out of bed and made his way to his kitchen to make himself some coffee. He was going to need it. He had decided to get his full day of clinic out of the way today, that way it would be over and done with… like ripping off a band-aid (kind of). House had also tried to convince himself that the reason he was going to be on-time to work today was because he'd be able to leave sooner than he would if he was late. It had absolutely nothing to do with a petite, administrator-type, with a quick wit, a zesty body, and a love for designer heels. House smiled slightly just at the thought of her. Nope… nothing to do with her at all.

He _didn't _think about her all the way to the hospital, where he arrived just before 8am for the first time in so long, even he couldn't remember. After a brief and mutual exchange of sneers with Nurse Brenda, House settled in for a long day at the Clinic.

A little over three hours later, House was beginning to think that the world was against him. As if the entire population had known that House was in the clinic that day and absolutely had to be on his best behavior, so of course the patients were more annoying and idiotic than ever. Every patient seemed to test the will-power of the misanthropic doctor. It seemed to him that some of these people were just begging to be ridiculed by him. Multiple aspects of every file and every patient seemed to be a test. One male patient had the unfortunate name of Marion. It took some will-power not to question his sexuality or the intelligence of his parents. One woman had come in because her sunless tanning spray turned her orange.

The fight was becoming incessantly more difficult. Finally, when he had his token teenage male patient with something unbeknownst to him stuck in a major oraphus, House didn't think he was going to be able to take it any more. He didn't think that he'd be able to make it through the whole day without managing to insult one of these idiots; he could feel himself beginning to break down. Luckily, half-way through his consult with the teenage boy, Cuddy had paged him, wanting him in her office ASAP. House finished extracting what turned out to be a lighter (thankfully lacking fluid) from the patient, thoroughly washed up, and then headed to the dean's office.

House walked through the door to Cuddy's office _after_ knocking first and then silently sat down in front of her desk. Cuddy, though slightly taken off guard by his unusually quiet and almost polite entrance, began her interrogation of him right away.

"_What took you so long? I paged you over 20 minutes ago…"_

"**I was in the clinic… extracting something quite surprising from a 15-year-old's anus. Forgive me for wanting to scrub for a few extra minutes."**

"_That's what I have to talk to you about. And before you go off on a tangent, just know that I'm extremely busy right now and don't have time, so can we just skip over all the superfluous parts of this conversation and just get to the point?"_

"**What seems to be the problem?"**

"_I have to be in a meeting with the hospital's ten biggest donors in fifteen minutes. I'm trying to persuade them all to grant us the funds necessary to add onto the pediatrics wing. Two of them hate each other and another guy can't seem to figure out that my eyes are on my face and not anywhere else on my body. But I can't think about that right now, and you wanna know why? Because my hospital's top diagnostician is freaking everybody out. What's going on, House? You were on-time this morning and I haven't heard one bad word from the clinic all day. Just tell me what you're up to so that I can focus on what I need to do upstairs."_

House considered doing what he always did, deflecting and either insulting her or just freaking her out even more and making her believe that he was going to sabotage her meeting, but he couldn't. He knew he couldn't when he studied her closely. Cuddy was tired… exhausted actually. He could tell that she was stressed beyond belief and not only with this meeting that she had to go to. He knew that she was meeting another donor tomorrow afternoon AND budget reports were due this week as well. House knew she was worn out, but that she could handle herself; she always had, but it still didn't keep him from realizing how much of her stress had been caused by him every time before. He couldn't deflect this time; he owed her that much.

At this point the two had left her office and made their way to the elevators. House finally responded to her when the doors had closed and left them alone in silence.

"**It can wait Cuddy. I know you probably don't believe me when I say that, but you should. I'm not planning on staging a coup while you're doing your job upstairs. I swear. If I'm lying, you can… you can add another fifty hours of clinic duty to what I already owe."**

Cuddy was taken aback by his last words, but then came back to her senses. She studied House's face closely, looking for some sort of tell-tale sign that he was lying. She couldn't find one.

"_I'm still not sure if I believe you House, but I'll hold you to that…. And… thank you."_

House implored her face, once again seeing the amount of stress and exhaustion embedded into her every pore. Something overcame him; he felt the need to help her relax. He wanted to help her and he could only think of one thing that could do so. The elevator was approaching the third floor, where he'd get off. He needed to act fast.

"**Cuddy?" **He said her name with a wiry grin.

"_Yeah." _

She responded, but was quickly taken off guard when House seized her by the hips, pulled her close and gave her a chaste but very soft kiss on the lips and whispered to her.  
**"Go knock 'em dead, boss."**

The elevator doors then opened and House exited. Turning around right before the doors closed again, he gave Cuddy a delicious 100-watt smile. A genuine one. It hadn't been forced; it was just the result of his last actions and the product of replaying it all in his head. He then waited for another elevator and headed back down to the ground floor. He didn't think he'd have any more trouble getting his clinic work done today.

Cuddy's reaction to their little elevator ride had a somewhat different effect on her… but not too different. She got off the elevator on the fourth floor and immediately sat down on a nearby bench. She had to; her brain wasn't working all that well and neither were her legs for that matter. They seemed to feel like all of the bones in them had just vanished. How strange.

She couldn't believe what House had said to her. _He had promised not to screw with me? Is this a dream? No, I know I'm awake. I know I'm coherent. What's come over him? Ugh, don't read into it too much, Lisa, you know he's probably up to something… but then why would he promise? He had to have meant it… but what does that mean? And that kiss… what the hell was THAT? _She blushed as she replayed that part over in her head. She felt the heat rising to her face and then realized that her stress had completely melted away at the same time. _He probably knew I'd relax if he kissed me, that a$$! _She smiled to herself. _And then he smiled. He _really _smiled…at me. I haven't seen that face in twenty years, not since we… Ugh, who cares why he did it? I mean, he's probably just being nice to cover up something terrible. _Cuddy sighed, still happy with the new lack of anxiety she was feeling, and was then interrupted from her thoughts by one of the donors from the meeting she was due at.

"Dr. Cuddy, if you're ready, I think we're all wanting to get started with the meeting."

Cuddy nodded, stood up slowly (ensuring that her legs were working once again), set her gate, and made her way to the conference room.

She got through her entire presentation successfully and with great confidence. It wasn't until she had finished her speech however, that she realized that she had been widely smiling the whole time.

A/N: So are you weirded out by House's behavior or is this something we like??? Either way, just know that "nice" House is completely temporary.


	8. Mr Nice Guy? Day Two

Alright, alright... ten reasons seems enough for me. Plus, I really don't feel like addressing the homework issue either (and I have to go to work in like, an hour (BOO!)). Next chapter. Part two of Nice House :)

Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 8: Mr. Nice Guy? (Day Two)**

House had a good night. The events of the day that had passed were the cause. He had played his piano that night, but not the doleful melodies he so frequently turned to, rather more exuberant and jovial notes that reflected his mood. He was on a cloud… though he'd never admit that to anyone (not even himself). Being nice to Cuddy certainly had its benefits and he couldn't wait to see what day two of his assignment brought him.

He rose early again the next morning, deciding that arriving on time to work was something that he could definitely manage again. He had thought all through the night about how he was going to improvise a few more niceties into his performance. He wanted to kiss her again… hell, he wanted her to actually kiss him back. That was the ultimate goal, but he knew that he'd need a little more than today to achieve it. No matter, he was resolved to win his own little battle. He had two things left on Kelsey's list that he needed to do, (1) wear his lab coat for at least an hour, and (2) open the door for her. He wasn't exactly sure if he was going to stick to the list completely… opening a door seemed fairly pointless to him, but he could think of a few more ways to help his situation.

After arriving at the hospital on time once again, House spent a few hours down in the clinic before putting his plan into action. He knew that Cuddy had a meeting with a potential donor at 11:30 and knew that it would be imperative for Cuddy that the meeting went well. The man she was meeting would open huge doors for the hospital if he chose to donate. Little did Cuddy know, the man she was meeting had actually contacted House a few times previously via e-mail, wanting to know more about him, his department and the general way the hospital seemed to function around him (which House of course ignored). No time like the present to redeem himself… He made his way to Cuddy's office around 11:25, hoping to get there just in time to shock the hell out of his favorite boss. If his presence wouldn't be enough to do that, the fact that he was actually wearing his lab coat (for once) would.

House glanced towards Cuddy's office, slightly disappointed that the meeting had already started. He didn't want to interrupt the two, but he knew he'd have to if he wanted his plan to work. He politely knocked on the door to her office before sticking his head through the door.

"**Sorry to interrupt… do you mind if I join you?"**

Cuddy's eyes widened in both shock and fear. She didn't want House messing this up. The hospital needed this guy's money.

"_Actually…"_ She began, but she cut herself off mid-sentence when she realized that House was wearing his lab coat. _Why the hell… Damn, I wish he wore that thing more often. Ugh! Reel it in, Lisa; you've got work to do. _The tall, good-looking older man, sitting in front of her desk jumped in and responded to House instead.

--"No, not at all. I'm always happy to meet members of the staff. Please, join us."

The guy seemed friendly enough… House was hoping this guy wasn't going to make it hard for him to be nice. The wealthy donor-types that Cuddy so frequently entertained in her office usually tended to be self-centered and entirely too arrogant for House's liking.

"**Thank you. I'm Doctor Gregory House, by the way. You must be Charles Braxton. I'm sorry I haven't returned any of your e-mails. I'm sure you understand how demanding work can be sometimes."**

--"Oh, Doctor House! It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Not to worry on the correspondence issue. I'm just glad to finally meet a world renowned diagnostician and this hospital's biggest asset. Dr. Cuddy and I were just talking about how the hospital functions on a daily basis and what her aspirations were as the dean and woman-in-charge. Tell me, Dr. House, would you say that she's an effective boss?"

Cuddy was a little taken aback by Mr. Braxton's frankness and his cordial conversation with House. However, she was more concerned with (A) what exactly House thought he was doing, (B) how he was going to answer Mr. Braxton's question, (C) how he was going to screw everything up, and (D) how she didn't sleep a wink the night previous because of that idiot and his kissing crusade.

She returned her focus to the situation at hand and looked up at House from her desk, letting him know with her eyes that she needed him to behave. House began his response to Mr. Braxton's question, but his eyes never left Cuddy's (and vice versa).

"**Lisa Cuddy is an excellent administrator. Not only can she manage to keep this hospital from running itself into the ground, single-handedly I might add, but she's also a very caring individual and a kick-a$$ doctor. She is well-liked and respected by the whole staff, and she always has the hospital's best interests in mind with her every endeavor. We're lucky to have her."**

House and Cuddy's eyes were still locked. House gave her a wink and she smirked a little in response to both his words and his actions. The two broke their focus on one another when Mr. Braxton stood up, getting ready to make his departure.

--"Well, I know this meeting was short, but really it was just a formality, especially after that little speech Dr. House gave on your behalf. I'm still very interested in making a sizable donation to your hospital Doctor Cuddy. I just need to make a few phone calls and get everything nailed down – then I'll get back to you. It was a pleasure finally meeting you both. Have a good afternoon." With that, Mr. Braxton shook hands with the doctors and let himself out of Cuddy's office… leaving them alone together in the wake of things.

"_That… was definitely one of the top five nicest things that you've ever done. What you said… it was… Thank you, House."_

"**Anytime, Cuddles."**

Cuddy rolled her eyes at the disgusting "cutening" of her name, but she did so with a smile on her face, letting House know that she didn't care for the time being. She was still wrapped up in what House had said about her… in front of a potential donor, no less. House made his way over towards where she was standing on the other side of her desk.

"**You know what this means, don't you?"**

"_What do you want? And know that just because I'm asking doesn't mean you're going to get it."_

"**I **_**think**_** that **_**is**_** what that means…"** He then, once again, seized her by the hips and pulled her close to kiss her… this time, not so chastely. She still didn't kiss him back, but it just meant that he had to try harder. He meant every word that he'd said about her to Mr. Braxton. He knew she was an amazing woman… it was part of the reason he liked her so much and wanted her so badly. The game was still afoot.

House broke away from the kiss, then smirked and almost laughed at the sight of Cuddy. She was standing there in front of him… slightly frozen and it seemed as if she had lost the ability to speak. He liked catching her off guard like this; it was too fun. Cuddy on the other hand, finally snapped out of it enough to know that she needed to say something… anything, but her mind wasn't working that well at the moment.

"_House… Y-Y-You…"_

House finally let out a chuckle after watching her attempt to speak.

"**I've rendered you speechless… cool. I'll be in the clinic when you come to, just in case you wanna talk or feel like doing the no-pants dance. Deuces."**

House smiled again at the sight of Cuddy, who was looking confused and a little flushed. He then exited her office and made his way back to the clinic.

A/N: I don't know why, but I just really like this chapter. Too sweet. Let me know what you all think... COMMENTS!!!


	9. Thursday

You can all thank Jaybe for this one... although I kind of consider it cheating (lol), I'll let you have it on a technicality.

This is my longest chapter yet. There's a lot of stuff going on in a tiny amount of time. Let me know what you think! (Oh, yeah... and happy MLK day :D)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). Fox own's everything else.

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**Chapter 9: Thursday**

It was finally Thursday and Kelsey and House had met up outside her room to make their way down to Cuddy's office for lunch. Before they did so, however, Kelsey had a few questions.

--"So? Did you get everything on my list done?"

"**I didn't open a door for her, but I added a couple of things to the list, so I think it all worked out just fine in the end. Did you do what I told you?"**

--"I figured you'd do as much. I can't believe you actually got through an entire day of clinic duty without getting into any trouble… And no, I didn't steal the remotes to all of the televisions in the hospital; I think that's more of a job for you… or your three minions." Kelsey then paused. She wanted to ask House something, but she was afraid of what he might do if she did.

"**What do you want to know… Just ask; I know you're dying to. You have that weird crinkle in your forehead, letting all the world know that you're trying to restrain yourself. Just get it over with before you have an embolism."**

--"What did you do to Dr. Cuddy?"

Oops… House didn't think her question would be that intrusive. He was hoping for something a little more non-committal. No such luck. Still, he was going to try his damndest to refrain from telling her the truth… the complete truth anyway.

"**What do you mean?"**

--"You're kidding right? I ran into her last night while I was meandering around the hospital and she was acting… weird (for lack of a better word). She seemed really happy, but at the same time, kind of out of it. So, I ask again, what did you do?"

House smirked at the thought of her like that. He didn't actually get a chance to see or speak to her since he left her office yesterday. She was in meetings and he had gotten another case, making it extremely difficult to focus on anything but the task at hand.

"**I went to a meeting she had with some donor. The guy's been e-mailing me for weeks, so I showed up and talked to the guy. I was on my best behavior. The guy, Braxton-something-or-other, was impressed by everything and the meeting went really well. That's probably why she was acting all weird. Unless Cuddy's got her groove back… Have you been doing a little couch time in the dean's office?"**

Kelsey implored his face with a look of scrutiny and paused for a few moments before speaking again.

--"I'm not an idiot, House; I know you did something. Seeing as how I told you that you didn't have to talk to me about it, I'm going to let it go. Besides, we have bigger fish to fry right now. I'm glad to hear that you went to that meeting yesterday; it makes things a hell of a lot easier today. Now, let's go to lunch; our favorite dean is waiting."

The two made their way to the elevators that would take them down to the first floor to Cuddy's office. Just as the doors were closing on them, Kelsey turned to House with an evil grin on her face.

--"There are a couple of things I should tell you about this lunch, House. I haven't been completely honest with you."

The two stepped off the elevator on the ground floor smiley widely. House knew both of Kelsey's little secrets now and he couldn't be more excited to get to Cuddy's office. They walked through the first set of double doors leading there, where they were met by Cuddy's idiot assistant, who handed them the food they were going to be having for lunch. Kelsey had set everything up with the assistant and had him pick everything up for her. After they had all their lunch necessities, the time had come to enter Cuddy's office.

--"You ready for this?"

"**She's gonna flip when she finds out… Her head's gonna do that thing where it spins really fast and then she'll do something crazy, like try to show you her 'knife' collection."**

--"I'm sure we'll be fine… and no, I don't want to know what that was code for." The two smirked at each other and pushed through the double doors to Cuddy's office without knocking, scaring the crap out of her and leaving Kelsey and House with amused looks on their faces.

"_Whatever it is that you two want, it's going to have to wait. Sorry, but I have a lunch-appointment with a potential donor and she's going to be here any minute, so I'm going to need you two to leave."_

The frown on Cuddy's face was sincere. She really didn't want House to leave… even if that meant the strange young woman who had been following him around as of late had to stay too. She wondered what exactly the two had been up to together these last few days, but the thought had been shoved out of her mind by Kelsey's next words.

--"We are your twelve o'clock… and we've brought lunch. Now if you'll forgive my bluntness, Dr. Cuddy, you should probably get you're a$$ over here before House eats your lunch."

Cuddy, though taken aback by the way Kelsey had addressed her, did what she was told. She was glad she didn't have a _real_ appointment; she could really use the break and a decent meal. She was very pleased and surprised to find out that the two had ordered in from her favorite Italian restaurant _and _somehow known what her favorite dish was. _Somehow._

"_Ah. Gilio's. It's my favorite restaurant. They have the best mushroom ravioli."_

--"I'm taking your word for it, because I ordered the same thing. I figured that since you're a vegetarian too, I could trust your judgment. House told me this was your favorite place to eat, so I could only assume that the food was good."

Cuddy was a little bit shocked hearing that House remembered not only what her favorite restaurant was, but also what she liked to eat there. It was almost sweet knowing that he was paying attention to all the little things… even when it certainly didn't seem that way. She smiled at her own thoughts before speaking to Kelsey once again.

"_How long have you been a vegetarian and what made you decide to do it?"_

--"It's been a little over three months and I'm loving every minute of it. I know it might sound a little eccentric, but one day, meat just seemed absolutely revolting to me. The whole stereotypical reasoning behind becoming a vegetarian with animal rights and everything… that came a little later. Like I said though, I'm happy. When did you first give up meat?"

"_Um… I was fifteen. I don't even think about it anymore. It's just something that seems completely natural to me now."_

Before the two could go on with their conversation, which was starting to bore House, his cell phone rang, breaking the relative silence of Cuddy's office with the juvenile voices of the Hanson brothers. He glanced at his phone and smirked when he saw who it was calling him.

"**Sorry, it's my hooker. I should probably take this."** With that, he flipped his phone open, while the two women with him hung on to his every word, wondering what could be so important to take House –the human garbage disposal- away from his lunch.

"**Mr. Braxton, so nice to hear from you again." **Cuddy's eyes widened with shock and a little bit of fear when she heard these words. She hoped to God that House would behave himself once again for both her sake and the hospital's. She was then a little confused by his next words and actions.

"**Yes, it should be another 48 hours or so. Oh, I'm sure. Yes, actually, she's sitting right here with me having lunch. Would you like to speak to her? No problem. Here she is…"**

Cuddy reached out in front of her for House's phone assuming that Mr. Braxton needed to talk to her about something regarding his potential donation. She was caught completely off guard when he handed the phone to Kelsey and not her. She whispered her reaction loudly to House.

"_What are you doing?! Why would you give her the phone when he…"_ Just then, Kelsey interrupted her thought process and jumped in.

--"_Could you hold on for just a second? Thanks._ Dr. Cuddy, I know that you've pretty much accepted the fact that I've been House's little demon follower for these last couple of days, but I also know that we really haven't formally been introduced. My name is Kelsey Hessler-Braxton and if you don't mind, I need to get back to this phone call. My father's time is very valuable and he can't afford to lose too much."

Cuddy was stunned. She couldn't believe it; she had no idea that an heiress and daughter of a potential donor had been in her hospital this whole time… and left alone with House for that matter. She cringed with that last thought. She sat there, still silently stunned while Kelsey finished up her phone call.

--"Yes, everything's just fine. We're all three having a little picnic in Dr. Cuddy's office. You agreed on a number? Yeah, I liked the third option best. Can I tell them? Great! Yeah, love you too Daddy. Bye." Kelsey then clicked the phone shut, handed it back to House and got on with eating her lunch. Cuddy on the other hand just sat there silently… not moving… just waiting for her to say something.

Kelsey rolled her eyes when she saw Cuddy like this. Man, she had really been spending too much time with House. Oh, well, it was time to tell her the news.

--"Dr. Cuddy, it is my understanding that you've been wanting to add onto your pediatrics wing here at the hospital. As you know, my father and myself have been wanting to make a considerable donation to Princeton Plainsboro for quite sometime, however before we did so, we wanted to know how the hospital functioned as a whole. Instead of coming to you for this information, we actually contacted several of your department heads to find out their opinions of this establishment. Really, we wanted to hear from Dr. House, seeing as how he's the hospital's biggest asset _and_ liability for that matter. When I had my panic attack at school back in New York, I had them bring me here, knowing that I could find a few things out first-hand by meeting some of your staff members. I've been relaying information back to my father and sharing my thoughts on the matter with him. You see, it was my idea to donate to a hospital, so naturally my father let me take the metaphorical reins on the process, the amount, all of the things involved in making a donation. After spending a few days here, I can certainly vouch for all the wonderful things I've heard about your hospital. My father and I are more than pleased to be able to offer a donation to PPTH."

Cuddy had no words. All she could do was sit there and force a small smile, still stunned by everything that had just gone down over the last five minutes within the confines of her office.

"**Tell her the second part… what you and your father agreed on."**

--"I don't know if that's such a good idea. She still seems like she's in shock from what I've said already. I'm afraid I might put her into cardiac arrest or something if I tell her the rest."

"**Then I will **_**more**_** than happily give her mouth-to-mouth. Just tell her."**

Right when House had said those words, Cuddy's attention refocused. Something about mouth-to-mouth? Kelsey didn't miss it either… she knew that's what House hadn't told her earlier in the hallway.

--"YOU DIDN'T! Oh my God, House… what happened to tact and subtlety? Did she care?"

"**Jury's still out… so far, I'm going to say no. Just tell her, okay?"**

Kelsey huffed in frustration and then turned back to Cuddy who had no idea what the hell the two were talking about. Once assured that she was sitting back in her chair completely, she told the dean the second part of her happy announcement.

--"Luckily for you, I have my father wrapped around my little finger and I can get him to do just about anything I want. After spending time with this idiot here and getting to know him a little better, my father and I settled on a number. Dr. Cuddy, we're hoping that with our donation of two million dollars, combined with what I'm sure you've already raised, you'll be able to complete your additions to the hospital. We're happy to help, and just know that it was mostly my experiences here with Doctor House that ensured that this happen. My father hopes to hear from you soon, so that you two can get down to brass tacks. Now if you don't mind, I think I'm going to head back upstairs. I have some homework I need to get done and quite honestly, I don't think I want to be caught in the wake of all of this… even if it is a joyous event. I hope you have a good day, Cuddy; from what I've heard, you certainly deserve it. House… I'll see you later."

With that she left the office and made her way back to the all-too-familiar third floor. House and Cuddy were once again, left behind to process things.

A/N: The next chapter will be pretty darn short... and you all might not like it. :/  
.........I guess we'll all just have to wait and find out......


	10. In the Wake of Things

Great news! I stayed up a little late last night and got all of my tweaking done for this chapter AND I got the rest of my homework done early this morning. I only slept for about 4 hours, but hey... that's what caffiene is for, right?

Like my earlier warning said, this is a shorter chapter and you might not like it... Not to worry, though, I'm far from being done with this Fic. I've still got MAJOR plans for it :)

Also, I would just like to say a big THANK YOU to all of my readers. 100+ posts! I would've never thought that my Fic would generate responses to this extent, so thank you for everything you've had to say and for all of your support!!!

Now, without further ado...

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 10: In the Wake of Things…**

**Recap: **House and Cuddy were once again, left behind to process things.

Cuddy was still absorbing all the information that had just been shoved in her face in a matter of minutes. Shocked and lacking complete coherence she started talking to House, saying the first thing… anything… that came into her head.

"_That was Charles Braxton's daughter…"_

"**I know; can you believe that? She doesn't act like an heiress does she? I mean she certainly has the body of an heiress, but she's not a stuck up little pixie. She's actually humble and quite intelligent; I find it all kind of refreshing. She…"**

But before House could continue a little more with his views on Kelsey's contrasting identities, Cuddy had risen from her chair, walked towards House and threw her arms around his neck. Was this the moment House had been waiting for? Would she finally kiss him back if he dared to do so again? No. She hugged him tightly, gave him a peck on the cheek and then took a small step back.

"_House… why didn't you tell me who she was? There are so many things we could've done to make her more comfortable here. I can't believe you kept this from me…"_

"**You're kidding right? Were you not listening to her spout on and on **_**and on**_** about how she and Daddy Warbucks wanted to get to know the staff? Don't put this on me you little minx! Besides, I only just found out this morning on the way down here."**

Cuddy hugged him again, too happy and excited from the days events to keep it to herself. This second hug was a little different than the first. The two pulled back and searched each other's faces with squinted eyes. House seemed to be looking for something—a green light of sorts. He checked her brows, the corners of her mouth, her lips, but saw nothing. He finally looked in her eyes and saw something there; it was faint, but he saw it—a sparkle, a tiny spark of brilliance and fire, giving him the gumption he needed and the encouragement he wanted. He pulled her roughly towards him and kissed her. It was the third time in three days that he had done this. Him; it had all been one-sided, but this time was different. He knew it when he felt her arms go around his neck once more, when he felt her lips open and give way to his, when she returned the kiss and ended the internal battle between them both, if only for a brief moment. And it was a brief moment--one filled with passion, lust, pent up anger and frustration, and bliss. But Cuddy hesitated and abruptly broke the connection, bringing with her an awkward silence, one that both she and House didn't really want to address, explore, dissect, anything. With a furrowed brow, Cuddy bit her lip and took a small step back. She wanted that barrier between them to be gone, but she just wasn't sure that this was the time or place for it all. Hell, she wasn't sure if that would ever be something that she'd be brave enough to try again… not since their little "fling" in college. House simply gave her a nod of acknowledgment, understanding the meaning of her regretful and unsure body language and exited her office. He knew somehow the game was over. He tried to get her, but she shut him down. That awkward silence told him that; she was unsure of herself. She was unsure of him. Was she confused or did she really think that House's actions were always so two-faced? He didn't know. He did know that it was all up to her now… If she wanted to pursue what House had put on the table, it was in her hands, and they both knew _that_.

Forty-eight hours later, Kelsey was discharged and left for New York. That was that; House and Cuddy had lost their touchtone and they were left to analyze the events of the past week by themselves. They certainly weren't going to drag their friends into all of this. Wilson would get all mushy on House… and Cuddy already knew how Nurse Brenda felt about the man. No, it was best for the two to keep their confusion to themselves. In the mean time, they let things get back to normal over the weeks following; House would drive her crazy and Cuddy would get mad and deal with it in her own way. The only difference in the way things were now was that both had a lingering question in the back of their minds; the proverbial "what if". The question had been asked, it had lingered, but neither wanted to go down that road just yet.

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A/N: Feeling a little disappointed? Talk to me...COMMENT.  
-----Next chapter will be called "Today is the day..." and it's pretty lengthy :)


	11. Today is the Day

Here's the next chapter as promised! I know you all might still be a little sad from Kelsey's abrupt departure, but you'll be meeting someone new in this chapter and she'll be around for quite some time. This one's a little longer, so I hope that makes up for the fact that you had to wait a little bit for it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/Cs). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 11: Today is the Day…**

**Recap: **Several weeks had passed since Kelsey's departure from PPTH. Things were relatively back to normal.

It was lunchtime at PPTH and the hospital's favorite oncologist and least favorite diagnostician were in line together behaving like two old hens and divulging in the hospital's hottest gossip.

"Okay so you know how that guy with eleven fingers and that nurse who used to be a man hooked up?"

"**That's ridiculously old news, but yes."**

"Well I guess they like to role play… I guess the nurse who used to be man, actually _pretends_ to be a man while they're…" Wilson just stopped mid-sentence and shuddered. He thought the information made for good gossip, but still the whole thought just kind of freaked him out a little bit.

"**You should really be more tolerant of other people's lifestyles, Wilson. I mean, other people tolerate us…"** They had approached the cashier when House put his arm around Wilson's shoulder and batted his eyes a few times. He then addressed the somewhat less-than-amused cashier.

"**He's just so anxious today. We're here with our surrogate. I hope to God this kid doesn't turn out like my hubby here. Wouldn't want him to have love-handles and a cowlick."**

"House, I don't have a cowlick on my head."

"**I wasn't talking about your head Wonder Boy. He's buying both of our lunches, isn't that sweet? *sigh* I'm so lucky to have found him…"**

He then gave Wilson an evil smile and made his way to an empty table, waiting for his very irked and annoyed best friend to join him. Wilson found him a minute later and sat down across from him.

"Nice. Well, all gossip and whatnot aside, what's going on with you today? You've been avoiding Cuddy like the plague. More so than usual anyway…"

"**I broke another MRI machine and she hasn't found me yet. Fill in the blanks. I'd like to prolong having her hand-cuff me to something in one of the clinic rooms and leave me for dead."**

"That's the third one in five months! I don't understand how the hell you can manage that. I certainly wouldn't blame Cuddy for wanting to punish you… In fact, I give her my blessing."

"**My patient got a little riled up when we gave him something to speed up his adrenaline, which I did for medically relevant reasons, by the way. Also, do you like to watch Cuddy punish me? Is there something you're not telling me Wilson?"**

Wilson rolled his eyes again at House. He wondered how they ever became friends, let alone best friends. They were so different, but at the same time, both had shared the same kind of hurt throughout the course of their friendship. It was far from conventional, but things were certainly always interesting.

"You know, one of these days, somebody's going to come along a beat you at your own little game. It's gonna totally suck for you and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it."

House just rolled his eyes in disbelief at Wilson, thinking that there were very few people who could (let alone wanted) to beat him at his game of wits, comedy, and misanthropy.

Little did he know, that day was fast approaching... that day was _today._ He had no idea what would be waiting for him in Cuddy's office if he had answered the page he just received from her. Luckily for him, he didn't.

Cuddy's office, pre-House-page:

--"Ooh, I've missed you! Don't get me wrong, I love college and everything, but deciding to take a year off and spend it here, working with my favorite aunt, is so exciting!"

"_I'm your only aunt. Yes, this is very exciting AND an excellent opportunity for you as a future med-student. So mind yourself please, and don't cause too much trouble. I don't know why I'm even saying this; there's no way you could cause more trouble than House. You at least don't have authorization to do half of the crap he does."_

The two laughed. They didn't really care about much at the moment; they were just happy to see each other. Mikenna was Cuddy's favorite niece; they both knew it, but would never admit it. They were just too alike: strong-minded, extremely intelligent, and had terrible taste in men… or boys in Mikenna's case.

--"That House guy still works here? Good grief, I would've thought you'd killed him by now… at least from hearing some of the things he tries to get away with."

"_You don't even know the half of it. I've only told you about some of the things he does… you should see the way he acts around me specifically… and some of the things he says. You'd be surprised how much House I can actually tolerate. No matter, though, I'm sure you'll get to experience some of that first hand."_

Just then Nurse Brenda courteously made her way into Cuddy's office after knocking, interrupting the game of catch-up the two women holding hands were playing.

"Dr. Cuddy, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought you should know…"

"_What did he do now?"_

Brenda cleared her throat and looked down. She didn't want to give her boss and friend the bad news, but someone had to do it and she was the least likely candidate to get her head bitten off.

"He broke the MRI machine again. By the looks of it, it'll probably be out of commission for a month or so."

"_Are you kidding me?! That's the third one in five months! Ugh! Thank you for telling me Brenda, I'll get it taken care of."_

Brenda then exited her boss' office, wondering to herself why House hadn't been fired already. She knew that he was the hospital's biggest asset, but also questioned if that was really worth it, seeing all the things that he did to negatively affect everything around him. She pushed the thought out of her head, and got back to work, thinking that Cuddy would know what to do with him to get even. She was right; back in the dean's office, House's punishment was being determined.

Cuddy had risen off of the couch in her office and began pacing its length and staring at her feet, leaving Mikenna sitting there in silence watching the cogs turn in her aunt's head. She had finally stopped pacing and her head shot up when she finally thought of something good. She smiled widely and turned towards her niece.

"_Ready for your first assignment as an intern? It's a little unorthodox, but it's right up your alley. I mean, we share the same blood for God's sake…"_

Mikenna returned her aunt's smile and responded.

--"What do you want me to do to him?"

"_Anything and everything really. I'm going to tell you the do's and don'ts of House; you might want to write some of this down, the list might get kind of lengthy."_

Cuddy waited for Mikenna to get her notebook out of her bag and make herself comfortable before beginning again.

"_Okay, first off, you are NOT to tell him who you are. Trust me, if he knew you were my niece, he'd make both of our lives hell. On that note, do NOT wear high-heels around him, he'll be able to tell who you are if you did."_

--"I don't see how he could…"

"_This guy's attention to detail would shock you. He'd notice that we have the same taste in shoes, you already look a little like me, and you certainly walk like me. It would be a dead giveaway. Next, do anything and everything in your power to annoy the hell out of him."_

--"How do I do that? I don't actually know the guy; I just know some of the horrific things that you've told me about him."

"_Act like a teenager. I know you are a teenager, but I mean the stereotypical kind. Be dramatic, use annoying language, do stupid and immature things. He does crap like that all the time, but he can't stand it when others do it. You have to do everything you can to get him frustrated mentally, so I also want you there during DDX's. He hates an interruptive audience when he's trying to make his fellows wet themselves. You have to act as a distraction. Oh, he'll hate that. You should even try to participate in the DDX."_

--"I don't think I'd be able to offer anything constructive…"

"_Mikenna Lee, we've been over this. Just because you're nineteen, doesn't make you an idiot. I think you've proven that much. Good God, you skipped two grades in high school and you just finished your senior year of college… you're not even 20 yet! You'll be fine."_

"Fine. Fine. Fine. Tell me what else I need to do…"

"_Well, that should be enough to get him mentally frustrated, but it needs to go further than that. You have to get him sexually frustrated too."_

--"Uh… you're kidding right? I'm nineteen and the guy's got what… ten years on you? What could he possibly want with me?"

"_Don't play the naïve card, we both know that boys fall all over you wherever you go and men aren't really all that different. Ha. Think of it this way: you look a bit like me, House likes the way I look, so he'll definitely like the way you look."_

--"Creepy, but still logical, I suppose."

"_Don't be afraid to cause a little trouble, you'll be off the hook because I'm the boss, but that's just when you're around House, got it? As far as you and I go, we don't know each other. I'm the boss, you're the employee."_

--"How do interns around here generally feel about you? I need to know how to react when we want to talk about you behind your back…"

"_Oh, honey, I love you. Ha. Interns here are usually scared of me or they think I'm a bit of a b^tch. Your call on that one, although I'm pretty sure I know which option you'll pick."_

The two smiled at each other again… that is, until the smile on Cuddy's face fell. She had one more set of facts that she needed to share with her niece.

"_I'm going to warn you right now, this isn't going to be easy. I know I've told you some of the idiotic and stupid things House has done, but like I said before, that's not even half of it. He'll go out of his way to break you if you annoy him too much. Stay away from his personal life. Don't even go there. House has the ability to make you feel so small that you don't even feel like the world around you exists anymore. I mean it. Be careful. This is supposed to be fun for you and me, but I don't want to see you getting hurt in the end, okay? If he's questioning your wardrobe, sexually harassing you, or doing anything else in a playful manner, you're in the clear. If he starts to study your facial expressions and mannerisms, you might want to watch yourself. If he starts acting almost nice and then disappears for large increments of time, you're screwed and you should probably come and find me."_

--"Wow, you've really got this down to a science."

"_I've had to, and trust me, it's taken years to get even this much information. The man's a closed book. Okay, do you understand what you're supposed to do?"_

--"Yep."

"_Good. Now we'll run over what you're actually going to be doing here when you're not torturing House. After that, we'll page him and I'll let you get started."_

--"Sounds good… and Lise?

"_Yes?"_

--"I'm going to make you _so_ proud…"

The two laughed and shared evil grins, eagerly anticipating the first meeting of House and Mikenna.

* * *

A/N: I would love to know what you thought of this chapter! How are we liking Mikenna?? Next chapter will be called "Paging Doctor House" :)


	12. Paging Doctor House

Okay, I dedicate this next chapter to KCC258 b/c of the reference to "Lupus Lucas" :)  
Long live Huddy!!!

Mikenna starts doing her thing in this chapter, so I hope you all have fun with it, and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 12: Paging Doctor House**

**Recap: **The two laughed and shared evil grins, eagerly anticipating the first meeting of House and Mikenna.

--"Good grief, how long does it take to answer a page?!"

"_Well, it's House, so anywhere from five minutes to four hours."_

--"Can't we just go find him? I wanna meet this guy… and then proceed to make his life a living hell. You have no idea how much I'm going to enjoy torturing a guy, I mean actually being encouraged to do so and everything."

"_Hmm… Actually, I bet he's at lunch with Wilson right now. House can find a million different places to hide from me, but when it comes to food… food that he doesn't pay for, I might add, he's fairly predictable. I'm sure we can catch him down in the cafeteria if we leave now. You're sure you want to just jump in to all of this?"_

Mikenna simply nodded her head and gave her aunt a warm smile. The two then exited Cuddy's office and made their way downstairs to the cafeteria.

Before entering, the two scanned the crowded room to see if the victim, er, House was there. Cuddy laughed quietly when she spotted him at a table towards the back of the cafeteria, sitting with Wilson. She pointed him out to her niece and addressed her one last time before setting her loose.

"_You sure you're up for this?"_

--"Oh, I'm sure. This is going to be fun… and probably the most exciting and rewarding internship I've ever had."

"_Alright, smart mouth. Here's what you should do…"_

The two worked out the little details of the meeting that was about to go down. Shortly after, Mikenna made her way into the cafeteria and towards House, but not before turning around and un-doing the top few buttons of her blouse (non-chalantley, of course). Cuddy laughed at the sight and watched her niece proceed to execute their evil plan. She'd know when she needed to step in…

House and Wilson had been sitting at the table in silence. Wilson was reading a patient's file and House was trying to see how much salt he could add to his friend's drink without getting caught. So far he was up to five pinches. His concentration was broken when some teeny-bopper teenage girl plopped down right next to him and started eating his French-fries, all while talking on her cell phone.

"**Yes. That seat was taken. And stealing my fries was probably the dumbest thing you could've possibly done. However, with a rack like that, I'd probably be willing to forgive you."**

--"Uh… dude? I'm kind of on the phone here, so could you shut your decrepid face? Also, stop checking me out. Does the phrase 'jail-bait' mean anything to you?"

House took a deep breath and popped a vicodin, hoping that would help calm his nerves. He didn't know who this chick thought she was, but he was having none of her ignorant adolescent antics. Hell no. He turned back towards the girl and in one swift motion ripped her phone from her hand, took the battery out of it and gave the shell back to her. She stood up and right away, started shouting in a whiny voice.

--"Oh, not okay Grandpa! Give me back my phone!"

"**Why. You gonna tell your mommy on me?"**

--"GIVE. ME. BACK. MY. PHONE!"

Mikenna was causing a scene… a big one. Her shouting had gotten the attention of just about everyone in the cafeteria and they were all staring at House, who had looked around him, slightly shocked at the effect this kid had on the crowd. House had been caught slightly off-guard and Mikenna saw this as a moment of weakness and used it to snatch her battery back from the grumpy doctor. She then plopped back down into the seat next to House, turned her phone back on, and continued eating House's fries (much to his disliking).

House just sat there and watched the girl in disbelief. He didn't really quite know how to react to her; she was six kinds of tempermental and even more unpredictable. After a few minutes of silence, aside from the clicking from Mikenna's phone and her text messaging, she looked up and around her. Once her eyes rested on House's cane, she looked across the table at Wilson, who had been staring at her the whole time in shock… but also with a small smile on his face. Mikenna addressed him.

--"Are you House?"

"Oh, God, no…. He is."

Mikenna looked over at House with a glare.

--"Huh. Figures…. I get stuck with the cranky old guy."

House gave her a look that embodied both his ever-increasing irritation and also his curiosity as to what the hell the little she-devil was talking about. Was she nuts? He was so caught up in his fury of emotions that he didn't even see Cuddy enter the cafeteria, let alone approach his table.

Mikenna's face and demeanor went from hell-bent and extremely pissy to charming and professional when Cuddy had reached the table.

"_Oh good, you two have already met each other."_

"**Well, if you consider being subjugated to ageist remarks and having your food stolen as an introduction, then you were clearly raised by animals… or Ronald Reagan. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea who the hell this chick is or what mental institution she escaped from."**

Cuddy rolled her eyes, feigning disbelief and slight annoyance, but she was actually quite amused by the truth of House's statement.

"_Okay… well this is Mikenna Falke. She's the newest intern here on our staff… and the youngest for that matter."_

"**Great, another Jew to question my every action and make me feel bad about believing Jesus is magic. I don't care what you all say; you killed our lord!"**

"_You don't practice any religion, so don't try to feign sensitivity. Also, you're an idiot. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get to the reason I came down here to talk to you."_

House was ready for Cuddy to mention the MRI he had broken. He thought that the shouting match was soon to commence and was preparing for some kind of extreme violation of body, mind, and/or soul. He was shocked to be proved otherwise.

"_Mikenna here is quite intelligent and will actually be shadowing several of our department heads during her time here. Even you, House. Mikenna will be with you every day from the time you get here until just after lunch."_

"**I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you with your boobs staring at me like that. Did you just say something about psycho-teen and stalking?"**

"_More or less, yes. Mikenna will be with you every day for the next year or so, until she goes back to school."_

"**Why so long? Did you get suspended for doing naughty things in the boys locker room?"**

--"No actually, I need to take a year off before I start med school. Believe it or not, most people like their doctors to be old enough to drink legally and rent a car."

"**Great. She's twelve, a total psycho, AND a complete bore. Forget it; I don't want a new stalker. I'll settle for stalker 1.0. You're not too busy to keep that up are you, Wilson?"**

Wilson simply rolled his eyes at his friend and then looked back towards his boss to see what else she had left to say to House, hoping that he'd get to witness the aftermath of House's destructive rampage on the MRI. He didn't really know why, but he just loved to watch them fight. It had a high entertainment value once they really got going; it truly was a thing to behold. Unfortunately, it didn't look like Cuddy was in any mood to go twenty rounds with the destructive doctor today.

"_Let me put it this way House: either Mikenna here will shadow you, or you'll owe me 150 hours in the clinic AND I'll be taking the cost of repairing the MRI you broke this morning out of every paycheck until the hospital's been completely compensated. That's roughly… eight weeks without pay. It's your call."_

House studied Cuddy's face for a brief moment, checking to see if she was completely serious with the ultimatum she just gave him. He knew she was on the level and completely sincere with her words. He rolled his eyes and stood up, getting ready to make his exit, then turned to Mikenna who was still sitting down.

"**I like my coffee black. Also, if you and Cameron declare yourselves besties for life, I'm taking your car away for a month and you can pretty much forget the JoBro concert."**

House walked past Cuddy towards the door, half-expecting Mikenna to get up and follow him, which she did… slowly, and not without receiving a small wink from her aunt.

"_Oh, and House? She's nineteen and therefore young enough to be your daughter. You might remember that when you've got something inappropriate to say about her physique."_

"**Jealous? Don't worry Cuddles, I only have eyes for you… Well, parts of you."**

Mikenna who was half-way in between the two, raised her brows at House's bluntness towards her aunt. She was surprised that he could get away with talking to her like that, but she was even more surprised that her aunt handled herself so well around this insane doctor. After a brief exchange of glares and evil grins by Cuddy and House, he and Mikenna made their way up to House's office. Mikenna knew that this guy was going to be far from boring.  
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A/N: I hope I'm not the only one who finds whiny Mikenna extremely annoying (and therefore quite good at pestering House)... COMMENTS


	13. There's A New Sherriff in Town Part I

I pretty much emptied my brain onto my laptop last night... This is one of the byproducts. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else.

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**Chapter 13: There's a New Sherriff in Town (Part I)**

**Recap: **He and Mikenna made their way up to his office. Mikenna knew that this guy was going to be far from boring.

The elevator ride up to House's office was one filled with silence. He and Mikenna looked everywhere, but at each other, wanting to avoid the awkwardness that surrounded them both. House was silently trying to figure out how to address his newest employee… if that's what you wanted to call her. He knew he'd have to keep a tight reign on this chick or she'd go absolutely haywire and he'd be the one getting blamed for everything. He had to reiterate to her that he was alpha one, the man in charge and someone not to be toyed with. Mikenna knew that the grumpy doctor to her left was having a field day with his thoughts and waited for him to make his attempt at gaining control. She was ready for him; she was ready to shut him down again. As the doors opened, and Mikenna stepped of the lift before House, he finally addressed her.

"**Before you go and meet my team and get started with all of this crap, there are a couple of things we need to go over. First off, I'm the boss. I know it probably seems to you that Cuddy is the one wearing the pants at this hospital, but it's actually me. If I want something, there's pretty much nothing that anyone can do to stop me. Even her; I can talk Dr. Cuddy into just about anything. That being said, just know that I'm not going to put up with your crap. Act like a grown-up and I won't have to murder your teddy bear or convince Cuddy to get rid of you. Also, stay out of my way. If you want to learn something, go bother my lackeys. They would be more than happy to help you out kid, especially Cameron. Her heart bleeds for the world. We clear?"**

Mikenna turned on her heels with a small smile on her face. She was glad to know that men were just as predictable as teenage boys. She gave him a look of amused surprise before addressing him.

--"Dr. House, aside from my thinking that you're just as predictable as any other man on the planet, you've also just proven to me that you're a complete idiot. This comes as a bit of a shock to me, since I've heard so much about how smart you were. I guess you really can't believe everything you hear, huh? In regards to you being the boss of this hospital? Yeah right. I'm a nineteen-year-old girl who just graduated from college and has to take a break before getting into med school because the world isn't ready to embrace a doctor at such a young age. I'm pretty sure that with your track record and what I've already discovered about you in the cafeteria, that Dr. Cuddy would be more than willing to put up a fight for me."

House was about to cut her off and argue her reasoning, but she prevented him from doing so and continued with her rant. She wanted to get him good and annoyed before he could respond.

--"As for my teenage behavior that you're so anxious to tone down or shove into the faces of your fellows, know that I actually don't behave the way I did in the cafeteria. Consider that an experiment of sorts, Dr. House. I wanted to gain some information about you; I can read about your medical and professional accomplishments all over the internet, but I can't learn about who you are as a person… not effectively, so I tested the waters. My little scene downstairs gave me a little bit of insight about the kind of person you really are. I could tell by the looks on the faces of your peers that you're not well-liked. It seems, however, that you have managed to snag one friend on the staff, Dr. Wilson, who likes you enough to sit with you and buy your lunches. You, however, either don't value his friendship or you're nothing short of a cantankerous ba$tard who likes to toy with people… you mocked his friendship and you kept putting salt in his drink. Props to you, by the way, for not getting caught. I'm not saying that you should rest easy, since I don't really behave like I did downstairs, but that should be one of your lesser worries."

"**How did you know that Wilson buys my lunches? You couldn't have possibly been watching me; I would've noticed it…"**

--"I'm _so_ glad you asked. There are quite a few things that I already know about you Dr. House, things that you might not want to be reminded of, things that you might not want your team to know about. For example, I know that several months ago, you got into a legal thing with a cop for leaving a rectal thermometer… _in._ I know that you had an affair with a married woman. I know that you cathed yourself because you were unable to urinate… perhaps something to do with your vicodin addiction? If I were you, Dr. House, I wouldn't toy with me too much. I have connections at this hospital and I'm not afraid to use them to humiliate you. On that note, I _will_ be asking you for information when I want it (instead of your team) and I'll follow you around as much as I damn well please."

As Mikenna concluded her rant, she turned back around and made her way to House's office, almost knowing where it was located. House stayed back and stood there in shock, trying to process everything that she had just said. He was a little disconcerted with the fact that she knew things about him, things that proved that she _did_ have connections on the staff as she so described. He was frustrated, _really _frustrated. He didn't know how she knew all of these things and he didn't know how he'd be able to keep her in-check. He didn't like feeling out of control like this and she was to blame for everything.

"**Who the hell are you? Do you work for the government? I swear that Foreman's a legal citizen, he **_**never**_** does anything demeaning at work… However, I think we're still paying him 15 percent less than my Caucasian employees. Is that a violation?"**

Mikenna, who was reaching for the door to House's office, turned to him and smiled wildly. She knew that she'd gotten under his skin with her little speech and she was still in control of the situation. It was going to be a good day for her; she'd meet the team, listen to the DDX and then head downstairs to Geriatrics to shadow Dr. Moore for the rest of the afternoon. She was sure she could have House at a nine on the frustration scale by then.

House on the other hand, being at the receiving end of Mikenna's wide grin, was tormented with a new set of thoughts. Her smile seemed familiar to him in some way… like he'd seen it before. He was viciously imploring his thoughts for any memory of ever meeting her, or running into her on the street somewhere, or seeing her in the clinic before. Nothing. It was just one more thing that had House frustrated. He gave up for the time being and entered his office behind Mikenna. He decided to get the whole introduction part over with and get straight to the DDX.

"**This is black one, Australian one, and the one with the bleeding heart. Team, this is crazy, teenage, smartypants."**

--"Mikenna Falke, it's a pleasure to meet you Doctor Forman, Chase, Cameron. I'll be here every morning for roughly the next year, shadowing Dr. House."

"**Yeah, yeah, we get it; you're professional. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get to the reason why we're here. We still need to figure out which porn site I need to subscribe to. So far, we've narrowed it down to Jugluvs, Hothead, or BigLove. Now I was thinking…"**

Cameron cut him off and got to the _real_ reason why they were there: the medicine.

"Patient admitted with nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, and mental disorientation… She was driving to work this morning when her disorientation caused her to have a major car accident. EMT's thought she needed to be checked out by us…"

Cameron's voice seemed to fade out of the attention of the men in the room as Mikenna loudly and slowly unwrapped a lollipop that she had received from the nurses station in the clinic. Glancing very quickly and slyly to her right, she made sure she had House's attention. Once assured she did, she began slowly allotting long and playful licks to the candy treat and sucking on it slowly. She knew that she had every male in that room drooling over themselves, especially House, which is why she put the lollipop back in her mouth as far as it would go and slowly sucked on it and pulled it back out of her mouth again. She thought to herself: _sexual frustration, check._

Chase was the first to jump back in to the diagnostic process that was the DDX and _try_ to put the amazing things the teenage girl was doing with her mouth aside.

"Could be environmental, maybe she just ate something weird… Maybe she hasn't been eating at all. These are all symptoms of someone with a possible eating disorder. We should check her house to see if there's evidence that she's either not eating or somehow demonstrating some kind of eating disorder."

Cameron nodded her head in agreeance with her co-worker, agreeing that an eating disorder very well may be the cause of their patient's illness. That is, until Mikenna chimed in…

--"Forgive me if jumping in makes me seen presumptuous, but how is the patient's immunoglobulin-G level?"

Cameron was taken a little aback by how smart this young girl actually was. It didn't take her long to snap back into it and respond to the surprisingly intelligent new intern.

"A little elevated, are you thinking autoimmune?"

--"Yeah, I mean, it makes sense. She's showing signs of liver failure. If it's not too late or too risky, I think you should do a biopsy; she might have autoimmune hepatitis. Maybe even primary sclerosing cholangitis, although I don't think she's showing symptoms severe enough for that… at least not yet, anyway."

Cameron looked over at House to see which approach he wanted his team to take in trying to find a diagnosis.

"**Forman, do the biopsy. Cameron, search the home. Chase, go fix your hair; it's starting to fall flat and you're just embarrassing yourself. Oh, after you're done doing that, I want you to go check out the car the patient totaled this morning… see if there's anything in there that points to environmental or autoimmune. You know, like vomit or condoms."**

House then turned to Mikenna with a small smirk on his face. She frustrated him to no end, mentally and now _sexually_ (much to his own surprise), but she was smart. She seemed to be able to keep up with his team fairly well and that was a definite plus in his book. Maybe, he'd keep her around after all… that is, if she didn't drive him crazy first.

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A/N: Hope this one got you chuckling... Are we all still liking Mikenna?

----------I'll probably post part 2 early tomorrow. :)


	14. There's A New Sherriff in Town Part II

Part two, as promised :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). Fox owns everything else.

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**Chapter 14: There's a new Sherriff in Town (Part II)**

"**It's after lunch now, Miss Lohan. Where are you supposed to be?"**

"Geriatrics."

"**I'll walk you down there… Well, I'll mostly check you out as you walk down there."**

"Oh, goody."

The two left his office one after the other and made their way towards the elevators. Mikenna got an evil idea on her way. Seeing as how she was behind House, she could very easily do what she was about to do. She quickly and quietly took out her phone and sent a text message to Cuddy:

Meet downstrs in lockeroom. U will know what 2 do ;)

She hoped to God that her aunt would get the message and meet her there in time. In the mean time, she and House got on the elevator in silence and Mikenna went back to her lollipop that she opened during the DDX.

House had been watching her go at the candy, out of the corner of his eyes and noticed right away when Mikenna had a little accident and dropped her red lollipop on her white shirt, leaving quite a nice little stain.

--"Damn it! Great, now I need to change; I can't go around with a doctor, seeing patients with a giant red stain on me. Could you remind me where the locker-room is? I think I might have a change of clothes or something down there…"

"**It's on the bottom floor. Second corridor on your left and then third door on your right."**

--"Would you mind walking down there with me? I get lost easily and I couldn't call for directions or anything because I left my phone upstairs…"

House scoffed and rolled his eyes, but nodded his head in resistant agreement. He didn't really want to go down there with her, but watching her with that sucker was enough to get him to do just about anything for the time-being. It was like he was in some sort of trance.

The two had made it to the ground floor and trudged towards the women's locker room. House stopped at the door as Mikenna pushed her way inside, but not before being addressed by House.

"**You sure you don't need any help getting changed?"**

Mikenna didn't respond, but simply turned and gave House another wide smile with a look that was nothing short of promiscuous, leaving him feeling frisky and confused once again. That smile was so familiar to him… He needed a better look at it and moved towards the door getting ready to walk in and try to make her smile again. He didn't care if it was the women's locker-room, he just needed to solve his puzzle. House had the door open enough to see part of the periwinkle bra that Mikenna was wearing, before someone interrupted his thoughts.

"_HOUSE!"_

"**Crap."**

He cringed in recognition of the loud voice behind him and turned around to see a very shocked and annoyed Cuddy.

"_The women's locker-room, really? You've hit a new low; what, did your hooker finally realize that working for you is probably the most idiotic thing EVER?"_

"**Ugh. It's not what you think, crazy. I'm trying to figure out how I know that kid, Mikenna, or whatever her name is. I recognize her smile… I just can't place it."**

"_Right, and going into the women's locker-room is the way to solve that. You owe me eight hours in the clinic."_

"**Seriously? Just because I **_**almost**_** walked in there? That hardly seems fair…"**

"_Let me put it this way, you get four hours for trying to walk in there and four more hours for trying to convince a young intern that you have some control over me. Now get you're a$$ upstairs."_

"**How the hell did she tell you about that? She was with me the whole time I… Ugh. I'm going to break that cell phone of hers…"**

House then angrily made his way up to the clinic. Mikenna came out of the locker-room clad in light purple scrubs and she and Cuddy smirked at the sight of the angry doctor.

"_You need to be careful. He said that your smile seems familiar to him. Try not to do it when you're around me or he's likely to figure everything out. How's everything going so far?"_

--"I'd say really well! I've got him totally and completely frustrated, both mentally and sexually."

"_How'd you manage the sexual frustration?"_

--"Lollipop."

"_Nice. How could you tell it worked, though?"_

--"Are you kidding? The guy was practically drooling. It's not the first time I've made a guy do that, either. Ha. He's totally sexually frustrated."

"_And what exactly would you know about sex, missy?"_

--"More than you'd think. I'll talk if you talk."

"_Does Joanna know about any of this?"_

--"Uh, ew. I'm not talking to my mother about sex."

"_So, you've had sex?"_

--"I've done some stuff with guys, but technically I'm still a virgin."

"_Somehow, your phrasing of that doesn't make me feel any better…"_

--"Oh, calm down; it's fine! And now it's my turn to question you… You've obviously done it before, and since I know that you've pretty much lived two lives: one as the party girl in college and one as the kick-a$$ administrator of a hospital, the men have probably changed quite a bit over the years too. So, who's the best, post-PPTH?"

"_Uh… there haven't been a whole lot of those, but I guess this guy, Michael? It didn't last very long; we were only together for about seven weeks."_

--"Hmm… I don't remember you telling me about him. What about pre-PPTH?"

Cuddy looked away from her niece, not really wanting to go down that particular road at the moment. They were having fun and the answer to that question was a reminder of one of the least fun parts of her life thus far.

--"Oh, crap… It's that Greg guy, isn't it?"

Cuddy turned back to her niece with a look of confusion on her face and nodded. She was surprised that her niece hadn't made the connection yet. Oh, well… it was for the best that way. She didn't want her niece traipsing around something that wasn't even an issue anymore.

--"Sorry, Lise; I forgot how you didn't like to talk about that guy. Can I ask one more question though?"

_"Sure."_

--"Who was better, Michael or… _him_?"

Cuddy simply smiled at her niece, who smiled back, obviously understanding the answer to that question without even speaking the words.

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A/N: What do you think? Comments!


	15. Oops! She did it again and again

WOW! You've been a chatty bunch since my last chapter! I love reading everything you all have to say! Thank you for all the wonderful comments :)

Here's a reward!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else.

Also.... HAPPY HOUSE DAY!!! *note: don't discuss the events of tonight's episode until tomorrow (if you're going to do that on here). I have to be in a meeting tonight and won't get to watch it until tomorrow. *sad face*  
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**Chapter 15: Oops… She did it again (and again…)**

Over the course of the two weeks that followed the locker-room 'incident', Mikenna had gotten into a sort of routine in making House miserable, and boy was it working. They'd begin their day by House yelling at her for getting him in trouble, she'd get him all sexually frustrated one way or another and he'd forget about it. She'd then kick a$$ participating in the DDX and then manage to get House in trouble once again.

Last week was when Mikenna really started getting good at getting House into some real trouble. She gave the patient, a four year old little girl, House's tennis balls to play with while they were performing a few tests on her. House figured out where his balls were and came to the patient's room just in time to see the little girl slobbering all over his favorite thinking tool/toy. Without even thinking twice, he walked up to the girl, and snatched his toys away from her. The girl almost immediately, started wailing and screaming one of the most shrill and blood curdling screams he'd ever heard in his life. After about three minutes spent by his fellows trying to calm the girl down before she fainted or hurt herself, Mikenna stole the balls away from House quite vigorously and gave them back to the girl. House, being nothing short of extremely pissed off, left the room in silence and went off to brood somewhere. Mikenna, now having basically the entire hospital on her side and willing to help her, found out that House had been in Wilson's office, no doubt b^tching about her. She went and found House there and made quite the entrance.

--"I know that you'd probably have to be on my or Wilson's side to fully respect the irony of this statement, but Dr. Cuddy has your balls."

Wilson and Mikenna laughed for a brief moment and House just simply rolled his eyes, trying to tame his ever-increasing frustration.

--"She says that if you want them back, you need to go down to her office. She'd like to speak with you."

Mikenna then left Wilson's office and headed to Pediatrics where she was shadowing Dr. Carlisle for the week. House on the other hand, slowly trudged down to Cuddy's office; he wanted his toys back and he was willing enough to face her reprimands to get them. And he did, but not without another 10 hours of clinic duty tacked on to what he already owed. Mikenna was going to be the death of him.

About four days after that, House got caught getting ready to perform a dangerous and unnecessary procedure on his newest patient. _Somehow_, Cuddy had known exactly where to find him and prevent him from performing his careless and painful test… and also reward him with another 10 hours down in the clinic. Mikenna of course was nowhere to be seen when this all went down, but he knew that it was all her fault. He'd had about enough of the girl—smart and pretty or not.

Two days after that was just about the last straw for House. Mikenna had somehow convinced one of their more delusional and paranoid patients that House was out to get him. Convinced she was right, the patient, when he saw House enter his room, unhooked the telephone on the table next to his bed and chucked it at House's head. He was able to duck out of the way of the flying phone, but it shattered the glass wall that was behind him. House knew that he was going to get blamed for this, and he was right. This time, he tried to put up a fight…

"**I know it seems like something that any patient might do, especially to me, but I'm telling you, that Mikenna girl is pure evil. She did this. She convinced our already paranoid patient that I was out to get him or something… hence the flying phone and the shattered glass."**

"_Even if that were true, which I highly doubt, she's still your responsibility. From the time she gets here in the morning, to the time she leaves you in the afternoon, her actions are held accountable by you."_

"**This is totally and completely asinine. Just give me my clinic hours and let me get the hell out of here."**

"_I can't give you any more clinic hours. Clearly, it's not affecting your behavior; I have no choice but to give you a more severe punishment…"_

House's head shot straight up and he gave her a slightly worried look.

"_You're going to be Bennet's guest speaker tomorrow in his endocrinology class."_

House didn't respond. He simply turned on his heels and began leaving the room. Cuddy chimed in one more time with a very small smirk on her face.

"_By the way, if your speech proves to be anything other than exemplary, I'll just keep scheduling you to do them until you get it right. His class starts at nine sharp. Don't be late!"_

After House had left her office, slamming the door behind him, Cuddy sat back down at her desk and Mikenna came out of the bathroom that was attached to her office. She'd been listening to the whole conversation from there. The two smiled at each other and laughed for a few minutes.

"_I don't think he's going to be able to put up with you for much longer."_

--"Actually, while we're on that subject, I don't really think I want to keep this up for much longer. I'm starting to feel kind of bad for the poor schmuck. I have one more thing that I want to do to him, and then I think we should tell him the truth."

"_Hmm… I won't stop you from doing what you want to do, but I don't think that we should just come out and say 'Oh, yeah, she's my niece and we've been torturing you for the last couple of weeks on purpose—to get even for breaking an MRI'. He might not react too well to that. Instead, you should just start behaving naturally. Start wearing your high-heels to work, you can smile and be around me all you want. I think his reaction won't be as severe if we let him kind of figure it out for himself."_

--"Sounds good to me. I'll do my thing tomorrow night and then Friday morning, everything will go back to normal. I'll get to be your niece again. Maybe then, some of the interns will stop checking out your a$$ while I'm around."

"_Interns, really? Good grief; I don't know how much more sexual harassment I can tolerate. I mean… Wait, did you say tomorrow night? Why aren't you going to torment him at work?"_

Mikenna gave her aunt a huge wiry grin.

--"House can't get drunk at work…"

The two laughed again at their evil-doings. Tomorrow night was going to be a very long one for a man named House.

A/N: I'm feeling evil again... but the moment is getting closer to when everyone finds out who everyone REALLY is. heehee. COMMENTS.


	16. One Last Hurrah

haHA! Here it is (as promised). Man, I really got down to the wire on time, but hey, it's still technically Wednesday. Luckily for you, my darling readers, this is a longer chapter. Once again, I'm getting a few things set up for the chapters to come. Some stuff might shock you; some might make you laugh. Let me know what you all think!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 16: One Last Hurrah**

It had been a very long day for Dr. House. He gave his speech in Bennet's class that morning and then spent the rest of the day down in the clinic, trying to work off all of the hours he had accumulated in the last weeks. By the end of the day, he was tired, a little irritable, and dying for a drink. Imagine his surprise to see that Mikenna had the audacity to approach him on his way out after such a tormenting day… knowing that she was the one to blame for it all, and with a cordial smile on her face no less.

"**Back off, Dennis; I'm not in the mood."**

--"Dennis?"

"**Well, you're an ever-present pain in my a$$ like Dennis the menace…"**

--"But, I'm a girl."

"**Yeah, but the whole male attribution also fits my belief that you're the devil incarnate, and everyone knows that the devil is a dude."**

--"Okay, well all religious and sexist arguments aside, why couldn't you pick someone who is stereotypically female, like Satan's mistress?"

"**I'm sorry, but that position was filled years ago by a petite, ambitious harpy, with a zesty bod, who just loves screwing people… but enough about Cuddy."**

--"Anyway… How did your speech go this morning?"

"**Pretty well, I think… It was conducted mostly in German so I think I lost a few people along the way, but my ending statement of, 'Work will set you free' seemed to counter some very passionate reactions."**

--"Considering the terms surrounding the speech you gave today, I'm pretty sure that you didn't do that because you certainly wouldn't want to have to give another speech, so you definitely (aside from the acutely obvious reasons) did _not_ quote Hitler. On top of that, seeing as how you know that I'm Jewish, as is your boss, you've just said that to get a rise out of me and consequently out of Cuddy. Your efforts will be futile though; I see through your grumpy façade and have concluded that you're being a huge baby."

"**You're annoying."**

--"Come on House." She grabbed him by the sleeve and started tugging him towards the doors, "I'll buy you a drink."

"**Try seven…"**

--"Fine, I'll take care of your bar tab, let's go."

"**Okay, you're not old enough to drink AND why would I want to drink with you anyway?"**

--"First of all, I have a fake ID. I just graduated from college… do the math. Secondly, you _will_ come and drink with me, not because I'm forcing you, but because you know you want to. You know that deep down, even though you find me slightly annoying, you also find me kind of interesting. You know I'm smart and clever and blah blah blah… I'm buying your booze and I'm sure you'd like to find out who can drink whom under a table. Now, can we just go?!"

House gave Mikenna a wiry grin… Her argument certainly had merit, especially the last two talking points.

"**My bike's parked out front."**

--"No way! I'm not getting on a motorcycle with you; you're nuts and I don't want to die. We can take my car… I'll even let you drive, if that's an issue."

She threw her keys at him, which he caught, and the two walked out to the parking lot to Mikenna's car and drove to House's favorite bar. Mikenna was having a hard time controlling herself. She didn't want to appear too happy and make House suspicious of her behavior. This was going to be so good…

After what seemed to Mikenna as fifteen minutes of holding her breath, they arrived. The bar was located in what appeared to be an old warehouse. It wasn't the nicest place in New Jersey, but it certainly wasn't the worst. House parked the car and the two then made their way to the entrance. Once inside, Mikenna had to let her eyes adjust to the light; it was quite dim in there. Once her perfect vision finally returned to her, she was able to look around and take-in the whole scene. The place was actually quite nice. It was a nice combination of dark mahogany furniture with maroon, plush accents. There was a small stage and a piano off to one side, and clear in the back in a relatively separate room were several billiard tables. No wonder House liked this place… it was a haven where one could go and relax, no matter what their mood or taste.

Step one of Mikenna's plan was complete; she had convinced House to go to a bar with her. The next step was going to be a bit more difficult. She needed to talk to the bartender, but obviously she couldn't do that with House at her side. She was beginning to think that she wouldn't be able to shake him, but then a light switched on in her head. She then turned to House and addressed him.

--"Why don't you go get one of those pool tables all set up for us; I'll be there in a sec."

"**Going to the little girl's room? Or did you forget to tell your mommy that you're spending the night at Kelly's house? Sleepovers are the best. Gosh, don't you just love those quizzes in Cosmo?!"**

--"You know, you really creep me out sometimes. Actually, I was going to go buy us some shots to get started. What's your poison?"

"**I only drink whiskey or beer… and you obviously can't do a shot of beer without looking like a total moron."**

--"Fair enough. I'll be back"

Mikenna made her way back into the main room of the bar and went up to the bartender with a cordial smile on her face. She hoped to herself that the guy behind the counter would be willing to play her little game. She smiled again at the guy before she spoke.

--"Hi, um, I know this is going to sound a little strange, but I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me out this evening? You see, I brought my father here tonight to tell him that I'm pregnant. I just graduated from college and he's always had such high hopes for me… I just don't want to be the one responsible for giving him a heart-attack and then having my child never meet his or her grandfather. In short, I'm wanting to get him good and drunk before I give him the news; I hoping that'll take away from the shock a little bit."

The bartender, a big, scruffy middle-aged man just smirked and shook his head. He'd been around for quite sometime and stories like this, were what made his job so enjoyable for him.

"What do you need me to do?"

--"Well, I obviously can't have any alcohol, but he doesn't know that. So, anytime I order anything with vodka or rum in it, just replace it with water or tea. Would you do that for me?"

"What if he orders something like that for himself?"

--"He won't. He's a whiskey and beer kind of guy. Listen, I need six shots of whiskey, six of _vodka_, three beers, and three _rum_ and cokes. You can still charge me the price for the alcohol; consider it part of your tip for helping me out."

"Here you are, love: six whiskeys, six waters, three beers, and three glasses of caffeine-free coke."

--"Thank you so much! Oh, and my dad's the tall scruffy guy with a cane, just in case he decides to take it upon himself to buy my drinks for once. He's a fickle guy… haha."

"Noted. I've got you covered, and hey… good luck."

Mikenna smiled at the bartender, grabbed her tray full of drinks, and headed back to the billiard room where House had just finished setting up. Mikenna smirked to herself. _Let the games begin._

Roughly four hours had passed, and the two were completely down for the count (but Mikenna wasn't really). Under the constant encouragement of Mikenna, House had lost their fake little drinking game; he'd probably consumed an entire bottle of whiskey by himself and God knows how many glasses of beer. He was trashed and therefore, didn't really understand why as the night progressed, his drinking partner seemed more and more coherent and in control. He didn't get it, but he didn't really care… he was feeling pretty good.

Mikenna was a little disappointed. Yes, she had succeeded in getting House completely trashed, but even while inebriated he was still a closed book… sort of. She didn't get any truly revealing or juicy information out of him. She found out that he was a cheerleader at one point, that he lost his virginity in the tenth grade, and that just about every relationship he'd ever had, had been (or was) dysfunctional in more ways than one. Mikenna wished she could get something more, something truly revealing that she could hold over his head. It was, after all, her last assignment, but it was to no avail, House had had a LOT to drink and she needed to get him home before he got sick or passed out (or both). She got House together, paid and thanked the kind bartender one last time, somehow managed to get House in her car, and drove him home. She was glad that her aunt had given her his address…

The car ride to House's apartment had been relatively silent. Mikenna kept the radio off just in case House felt like talking; he didn't. He drifted in and out of consciousness all the way back to his home.

Once back at House's apartment, Mikenna left him in the car to go unlock the door and switch on all the lights. She didn't hear House get out of her car, she didn't even realize that he was up and moving (quite quickly) on his own until he shoved past her and rapidly limped his way to his bathroom where he proceeded to vomit up everything he had drank that night. When Mikenna finally caught up to him, she saw a pitiful sight. House's eyes were red and watery from the exerting and painful act of throwing up and had his head hanging over the side of the toilet. He had closed his eyes to try to keep his focus off of the spinning room. Mikenna saw this as her final chance at revenge and pulled out her cell phone and quickly snapped a picture of the miserable ba$tard.

After House had thrown up a few more times, Mikenna helped him to his room and into bed. She removed his shoes, got a trashcan from the other room in case he needed to vomit again, and put a glass of water, his vicodin, and some eye-drops on his nightstand. House, still drunk, watched her do these things in slight astonishment and gratitude.

"**You're alright, kid."**

--"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself. Don't get me wrong, I still think you're a misanthropic ba$tard, but I know that there's more to you than that."

Mikenna smiled at House who was starting to drift again and sat on the chair facing his bed. She'd make sure that he got to sleep okay and then she'd head home herself. She was taken a little off guard when House had started talking to her; he was very quiet and his speech was a little slurred, but she could still make out what he was saying.

"**Kid?"**

--"Yes, House."

"**You ever been in love? I don't mean that sappy high school crap, I mean that I've-never-hated-anyone-so-much-in-my-life-why-do-I-love-you-so-much thing… You ever had that kind of feeling for someone before?"**

--"Sadly, no. But, I suppose I still have plenty of time for all of that…. Have you?"

"**Almost twice."**

--"How can you have been in love _almost _twice?"

"**Well, the last time, I was **_**really **_**in love… but she turned out to be kind of a b^tch. I kind of blame her about my leg. That sucked…"**

--"And the other time? How does the 'almost' fit into it?"

"**It was in college. I thought I seriously could've loved her… actually, I probably would have."**

--"But?"

"**I messed it up. Things just went completely downhill after I got kicked out of my first med school. All of that crap just found its way into every good thing in my life… I think that if I hadn't f^cked it all up, I'm sure I would have been completely entranced by her… probably even married her or something like that—and I don't even believe in marriage. She was **_**that **_**amazing. She still is…"**

--"Who is she?"

House was silent. It wasn't long after that, that Mikenna had began to hear House's soft snores. He was out, completely zonked. She wanted to know what kind of woman could have had that strong of a hold on House; she must be a fearsome, fearless woman. She shrugged the mystery off and gathered her things to leave. She'd finally gotten something juicy out of Doctor House—but was she feeling spiteful enough to use it against him? She decided to sleep on it and see how she felt in the morning. Tomorrow, House was finally going to get the opportunity to figure out who she really was, and having something as revealing as this information to hold over his head might come in handy when he sought for his inevitable revenge.  
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A/N: Well??? What do you think???


	17. True Identities

Okie-dokie, I hope you're all ready for this... it's once again setting things up for other stuff to come, but I hope you'll all be on the edge of your seats by the end.

I don't think I shall post again until I've recieved my 200th post... and please, no cheating this time (*cough* JAYBE lol).

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 17: True Identities**

House had slept deeply and peacefully that night. Granted, alcohol usually helped him sleep, but this was really good; he didn't have any tormenting dreams where his subconscious was trying to scream to him some kind of profound truth. No, Gregory House slumbered pleasantly, that is until he felt himself being nudged in a not so gentle manner.

--"Get up old man. I don't have time to stick around and make sure you get your sorry a$$ out of bed, but I forgot to set an alarm for you last night. I came here out of the goodness of my heart to get you at least up and moving. Come on, it's eight! I have to leave for the hospital in about twenty minutes and I'm not above using violence to get you moving."

House was awake, but he couldn't get his eyes to open; he didn't want to open them. He knew that the bright morning light would be waiting when he did, and quite frankly, he was still a little drunk and certainly feeling the affects of the night previous. He groaned. He was still extremely nauseous and knew that if he didn't make himself vertical soon, he'd be paying homage to the porcelain gods again. He for sure didn't want that, so he slowly sat himself up and propped himself on his headboard. Mikenna, who had previously left the room and came back with a small paper bag and a cup of coffee, addressed the groggy man in a sarcastically chipper voice.

--"How are we feeling this morning?"

House merely groaned in response and rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to adjust to the light.

--"I figured as much. You look like hell. Here: Coffee and a couple of bagels. Hopefully the coffee will allow you to function after I leave; the bagels should help with the nausea."

House had finally managed to get his eyes open enough to viciously attack the coffee that Mikenna had so graciously brought him. At least she knew how to help a hangover. After taking a few deep breaths to ease his nausea a little more, he looked at Mikenna and finally addressed her.

"**That's odd… you don't seem to be hung-over at all this morning. That makes no sense, seeing as how you did just as many shots as I did last night."**

--"Yeah… I was drinking water and soda. Are you really that surprised that I tricked you again?"

"**I don't know, ask me when my brain starts working again… hell, I might even be mad when I come to. You look weird today, by the way."**

Mikenna smiled widely, partly because she could do so now, and partly because she knew that she probably did look a little weird to him today. Now that her vendetta against House was over and done with, she could go back to dressing and looking the way she wanted. She was wearing a form-fitting black dress and she didn't straighten her hair that morning. Not only were her curls loose and flawlessly beautiful, they also somehow managed to accentuate the natural raven-colored low-lights in her brown hair. She hadn't put her heels on yet; it made it harder for her to drive when she wore them. For the moment, her outfit was accentuated with a plain pair of back flip-flops.

House had taken in the complete sight of her in confusion. He didn't understand why she didn't wear her normal khaki or black slacks for work today, or why he thought that hairstyle was so pretty, or how he had never really noticed how strikingly green her eyes were… And that smile, that smile of hers, still familiar to him in some way, was enough to drive his poor malfunctioning mind to its end.

The two simply sat there and stared at each other in slight confusion before Mikenna broke the silence.

--"I have to get going. You seem well-enough, so I'll leave you alone and let you get to your daily rituals. I'll see you in around your normal time… and yes, I will have taken it upon myself to tell Cuddy that you'll be in on time… and hung-over."

"**You're the devil."**

--"I learned from the best," she hinted, but he wasn't alert enough yet to pick up on it. "You're welcome for the bagels and coffee, by the way… Oh, and for dragging your sorry a$$ home last night as well. See you in a bit."

With that Mikenna spun on her heel and exited House's apartment and headed to work, where she'd fill her aunt in on _most_ of the events of the night previous. She had decided against divulging anything about she and House's little heart-to-heart; she'd save that for when she really needed it. House on the other hand, took his sweet time getting ready for work. He wanted to feel better adjusted to the world around him before he had to spend his day swabbing crotches in the clinic and praying for a case… Well, that and his leg was killing him and he wanted his vicodin to kick in before he got around. It was going to be another long day…

House's day was off to a crappy start. Not only was he running extremely late that morning, but on his way out, he had forgotten that his bike was still at the hospital from the night before.

_Damn, that girl; she probably had the whole night planned and figured out. The time has come to plot my revenge._

He had to call a cab; which took forever to show up due to the heavy, early-morning traffic crowding the streets of New Jersey. He was just over an hour late getting into work and he was cranky… _very _cranky. He checked himself in down in the clinic, then shut himself in one of the rooms to be left alone to brood. Too bad for him, Mikenna had watched him go to his hiding place and then pointed her aunt in his direction. House was angrily sifting through his thoughts and the events of last night when Cuddy loudly barged in and interrupted him—not only startling him with the noise, but also making his already killer hangover headache even worse. He winced.

"**If you're going to yell at me, can you just do it? My head's already killing me and I'd rather just get this over with now, so if you don't mind, just start your shrieking."**

Cuddy looked House over before responding to him, assuring that he was okay physically. Mikenna was right, he looked like hell. She was starting to feel bad for House, for what she was condoning to be done to him to make him so miserable. Was it all really for the MRI? If it was, then she was probably just about as heartless as the man sitting in front of her. She was beginning to think that she had taken things a bit too far when she snapped back into the reason why she was there. She was going to punish him… but the mere sight of him so obviously in pain and feeling ill, well, it changed her mind. She blinked a few more times as if to completely redirect her thoughts before addressing the miserable man in front of her in a soft tone.

"_I don't want you working down here in the clinic today. I don't think you'll be very useful and I don't want to risk anyone figuring out why their doctor looks like hell."_

House immediately looked up at Cuddy with an expression on his face that embodied his shock, his nausea, his pain, and even a very small hint of gratitude.

"_Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to put you to work, but you won't have to deal with patients today. Instead, you'll be catching up on all of your paper work."_

"**But Cameron usually does all of that for me; that's the beauty of her fixation on 'broken people'"**

"_Your team will be down here filling in for their moron of a boss; therefore, Cameron won't have time to do your paperwork for you. Now, get your a$$ upstairs and get to work."_

House then stood up and slowly made his way to the spot right in front of where Cuddy was standing. She put her hands on her hips and jerked her chin up to show House that there was no way in hell he was going to talk himself out of her orders. House had no intention of doing so… he simply liked the proximity (or lack there of) between them. He took a deep breath, shamelessly scanned the length of her body with his eyes, and gave her a wiry grin.

"**Alright, Cuddles, I'll go. However, since my brain isn't working as fast as I'd like it to today, I guess I'll just have to owe you a witty sexual-retort."**

Cuddy gave him a big fake smile and responded sarcastically…

"_I'll be holding my breath in anticipation."_ With that the fake smile on her face dropped, she turned on her high heels and exited the room with House following. He watched her walk all the way back to her office, loving the way the combination of her high heels and her pencil skirts made her swing her hips. It was taunting. He then smirked to himself and turned towards the elevators, but his eyes were averted almost right away by the sight of Mikenna who was leaned over the counter at the nurses' station talking to Brenda.

It didn't take Mikenna long to realize that House had been staring at her. She finally looked over at him with a teasing and questioning look whilst he made his way towards her.

--"What's the matter? Did Mommy catch you being unproductive again?"

"**You know, you referring to Cuddy as "mommy" is a real turn-on. Do you have a thing for older women, 'cause I could really get into that…"**

--"You shouldn't have drank so much last night Dr. House, maybe then your retorts wouldn't lack their usual bite. Have fun with your office work today; paperwork can be such a b^tch sometimes."

Mikenna then smiled at her own words… leaving House, once again, confused with the familiarity of it. That combined with the way she was dressed today and wearing her hair like that… she almost looked like... like….

"**I hope you realize that I owe you for all of the crap you've done to me. Consider this a caveat of sorts… that's all you'll get out of me."**

Mikenna opened her arms wide, inviting him to take his best shot.

--"Do what you want, old man; just remember I've got indemnity at this hospital."

House was puzzled by that statement and Mikenna could tell. She smiled widely again, flipped her hair, turned on the heels she'd put on after getting into work that morning and strutted away. House, who had watched the whole thing in confusion, was no longer confused; the light-bulb had clicked on. He knew that walk; he knew that smile; he knew that color of dark raven brown. There were very few women that he knew who behaved they way they did, walked the way they did, and somehow managed to always get away with everything. He wouldn't let them this time…

House made his way over to the elevators and headed up to his office. He wasn't going to finish his paperwork today. No, no, he'd much rather wreak havoc on the two pernicious women who had been jerking his chain for the last couple of weeks. He had a very important phone call to make. Consequences be damned; this was war.

A/N: Soooo what do you all think? Any ideas as to what our favorite doctor is going to do??? COMMENTS!


	18. Revenge Can Be Oh, So Revealing

Jehabib... the fact that you mentioned CTB makes me want to forgive your cheating. I miss her!!! lol. Woo! 200 posts-- I'm very excited! Okay, the real reason for my posting...

This, I think, is my longest chapter yet! Hooray! A LOT of stuff happens in it. Let me know what you all think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (only O/C's). FOX owns everything else!  
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**Chapter 18: Revenge can be, oh, so…. Revealing.**

House gave himself a two-hour waiting time after making his little phone call (which, of course, was done in Wilson's office). He wanted to ensure that there was enough time for all parties involved to feel the shock and aftermath of his actions… plus it gave him more time to think of little things he could do to annoy them further. Ah, sweet victory.

His two hours were up and he made his way down to Cuddy's office, where he loudly burst through the doors without knocking. He was met with the angry faces of Cuddy and Wilson. House smirked. Cuddy was _very_ angry and he could tell that she was getting ready to go off on him.

"**Shall we wait for your niece?"**

Cuddy's eyebrows raised and the fury shown on her face increased as she was about to start yelling at him anyway, but he cut her off.

"**Shh! We'll just wait. I wouldn't want her to miss anything…"**

House then sat down on Cuddy's sofa with a smug look on his face. Damn… he was feeling mighty full of himself. Wilson and Cuddy just watched the man with incredulous looks on their faces, that is, until their attentions were abruptly refocused to the nineteen-year-old girl who had very audibly and violently made her way into her aunt's office. She barged in, turned to House and immediately started yelling.

-- "YOU!... ARE A F^CKING D^CK!!! YOU TOLD MY MOTHER THAT I WAS PREGNANT?!"

"**It was just a little prank; you know, similar to the one you and auntie ba-donk-a-donk have been playing on me for the last few weeks. What's the big deal?"**

--"The big deal? Are you kidding me?! She thinks I'm pregnant! I'm not married; I'm not finished with school; I don't have a real job; I'm Jewish… These are just a few reasons why this is slightly problematic. I'm lucky she's still speaking to me at all at the point and it's all your f^cking fault!"

"_On top of that, I've been reminded once again by my sister (not so politely, I might add) of how my life is not one that she would wish for her daughter. Your little stunt has made her question letting her stay here and finish out her internship AND whether she should be allowed around me at all."_

"A complaint has been filed against me, for reasons that were totally unknown to me, until Cuddy filled me in. I'm also being threatened with a lawsuit thanks to you conducting your little prank out of my office and under _my_ name….. I don't even know why I was dragged into all of this in the first place!"

"**You had it coming, Jimmy Boy. And you two… seriously, you're **_**just**_** mad about what I told Joanna?"**

"_What do you mean 'just'? What the hell else did you do to screw us over?"_

House smirked and turned to Mikenna first.

"**I took the liberty of re-adjusting everything in your car, including the language on your mapping system. I erased every last one of the songs on your MP3 player, oh, and I also texted your boyfriend about your 'pregnancy'."**

--"I don't have a boyfriend… "

"**Well, then who's D** ?"

--"Oh my GOD! You told my father too?!?"

House truly had no idea that that was her father… but he smirked anyway. _Bonus._ He then turned to Cuddy and finished off with his revenge on her.

"**And you, you saucy little nugget… since you love animals so muc****h, I took the liberty of feeding the genetically altered test mice down in R&D your lunch, effectively ruining the experiment, I think. I also forged your signature and granted 75% of the clinic staff all of next week off… paid leave, I should say. I jumbled up all of the appointments that you have scheduled next week; have fun sorting **_**those**_** out. Oh… and I also may have called your mother and told her the **_**real**_** reason why you 'couldn't make it' to Thanksgiving in 1986. Needless to say, she'd like you to call her. Maybe next time you should really consider if this is all worth getting revenge for breaking an MRI."**

Cuddy's mouth had dropped further and further as House continued on with all of the items on that list. She didn't blush however, until he mentioned the last thing. It had been the only family holiday gathering that she'd never been able to attend. She had told her mother that she had mono and couldn't make it… Coincidentally, House had told his mother the same thing that year; fill in the blanks. Mikenna was really confused by House's last item on the list he gave her aunt. It didn't make any sense to her and she was dying to have _some_ control over what was happening.

--"Lise, what is he talking about?"

"_Nothing! Listen, why don't you take the rest of the day off and head back to New York and get everything sorted out with Joanna and Michael? Take a home pregnancy test with you, just for clarity's sake. Maybe you should take your portfolio with you and show it to them and calm them down… at least then they'll be able to see that you're having a meaningful and beneficial experience here with me, at my hospital."_

"**Portfolio? Is that the notebook thingy with all of those pictures of you and patients and copies of documents and crap? If it is… I should mention that it's somewhere in the Geriatrics Wing; it's in the same room as some really old guy, if that helps."**

Mikenna was just about to start yelling again when Wilson finally decided to chime in.

"Wait, wait, wait. This is all because you and Mikenna were trying to punish House for breaking an MRI?! I can't believe this… Congratulations House, you've not only managed to successfully clone yourself, but you've convinced your clone to disguise himself as our boss. I hate to say it Cuddy, but you had it coming."

"**Thank you! Just for taking my side, Jimmy, I'll tell you what I did with your car. It's in the O-Lot; have a nice walk."**

Wilson rolled his eyes at his best friend and started to leave Cuddy's office. He stopped at the door and turned back to Cuddy.

"You should have known better Cuddy; Greg House will always act like a fourteen-year-old a$$."

With that he left the room. House was smiling his wiry smile; Cuddy had a tired and worry-stricken look on her face and Mikenna looked like she had just had some kind of epiphany. She had… and it was a big one.

--"Greg?"

House and Cuddy immediately focused their attentions on Mikenna who was looking a little unsure of herself at the moment.

--"You go by Greg?! Not Gregory?!"

Cuddy was starting to get a little worried. She didn't need House here while Mikenna made this realization. She was already emotionally strung-out enough. Adding this new information to the mix could lead her to some very revealing information that Cuddy really didn't want shared with anyone… especially the man the information was about.

"**I've gone by Greg since… roughly the second grade. My mommy's the only one who gets to call me Gregory."**

--"Are you kidding me?!? God, this day just keeps getting better and better… You're Greg. That's abso-freaking-lutely great. I hope you know that I think you deserve to be shot."

House was confused and Cuddy had come out from behind her desk and started pushing House towards the door. She needed to get him the hell out of there before Mikenna said too much.

"**Actually, I've already been shot… and what the hell are you talking about, you whack-job?"**

"_Nothing! She's not talking about anything! Time for you to go House. Mikenna, have a seat and I'll be right back."_

Cuddy finally succeeded in pushing House out into the hall.  
**"You know what's fun about this? It's personal, so you can't fire me for it."**

"_Ha! Technically, you're not doing your job right now and that's negligence towards your patients and also insubordination—aka grounds for firing."_

"**I have tenure…"**

"_How many times do we need to go over this, House?! Having tenure doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want, contrary to what you might think; it simply means that I have to give you a reason for firing you, which I can do at any time with reasonable grounds, and trust me, I've got about fifty typed pages full of reasonable grounds. Now, I want you to get you're a$$ up to Geriatrics and get Mikenna's portfolio. I want her out of here before she tries to kill you… I want that job left to me. Move!"_

House rolled his eyes and turned to go do what Cuddy had asked of him. He knew that now wasn't the time to challenge her any more. She was mad enough. Cuddy watched him walk away, went back into her office, pulled the blinds down, and locked the doors; she didn't need someone barging in while having this particular conversation. She then walked over to her couch and sat down by Mikenna, who immediately stood up and started pacing the length of the room.

--"Greg is House; House is Greg; that's freaking Greg! How could you keep this from me? Why didn't you tell me that you worked with _that_ guy?!"

"_Well, I didn't really think it was an issue… plus I didn't want it to affect your working relationship with him."_

--"Not an issue?! You've got to be kidding me! Hmm let's see… the guy who torments you to no end on an hourly basis just so happens to be the same guy who makes the light in your eyes disappear when you mention whatever the hell you two specifically had going on a million-and-a-half years ago. 'Not an issue' my a$$... I think you still like the guy, though I wouldn't know why. He's a jerk… plus I don't like the guy he was back then either."

"_What are you talking about? You never met him when I was in college; plus, you were too young anyway. You were only like, three-years-old."_

--"Actually I was four, and no I never met him, but I saw what he did to you. You came and stayed with us for a few weeks, you'd never leave your room, you weren't eating, and you were _always _crying."

"_You remember that?! Good God… well, that was a long time ago. Things are fine now."_

--"Yes, it was a long time ago, and things are not fine. I can tell you still like the guy, but you need to be careful. I hated that I couldn't make you feel better back then… and I was just a little girl, a real-life teddy bear, if you will. I'm not so cute and cuddly anymore, Lise. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt again… Just be careful, okay?"

"_Stop. You're making an issue out of nothing. I don't like the guy… I kind of actually hate him."_

--"Right. I read somewhere that hate is just another word for someone you love but no longer believe in—sound familiar?"

Cuddy blinked a few times to think about that; yep, that sounded familiar…

--"I thought so. God, I just can't believe this! I mean, I could tell that there was a kind of spark between you and House, but I had no idea that the whole spark thing had existed for twenty years prior. I can't say that I completely condone this, but I suppose if it makes you happy… it's whatever."

"_You sound like Joanna… only she hates House. By the way, when you do get things all straightened away with her and your dad, try to leave House's name out of it. Your mom would cause House AND me a lot of grief otherwise."_

--"Well, on _that _note… I guess I should be heading that way. I've got some explaining to do. I'll just tell them it was one of the other idiot interns. Oh, and also… if this is you not caring about what happens to House, you really suck at it."

Mikenna then gathered her things, told her aunt she loved her (in a less than cordial way), went up to House's office to get her portfolio, and headed home to New York to clean up House's mess.

After Mikenna left, Cuddy remained stationary in her office, taking in everything her niece had said… The memory of her life after House had just up and left, forever ending whatever it was they had going on at the time… it hurt to recall. This is why she had proximity issues with all men now… especially House. It was the reason why all those weeks ago when that Kelsey girl was around, she had a hard time giving in to House's advances. She didn't want to end up miserable like that again… But she was already miserable; she was alone and she couldn't yet make the realization that being with House could be better than that. It just seemed too risky. At the same time however, she couldn't deny that something had always been there between she and him—something fun, something serious, something chemical. She had never understood it, but she knew that she liked it. Cuddy thought to herself, _That's probably why Mikenna thinks I like him; it's just this thing that's always been between me and him—probably just left over from all those years ago; nothing else. Ach, who am I kidding… if he'd give me a sign that he regretted what he did all those years ago, I'd probably consider it. God, what are you thinking, Lisa?! It's House! It's… House… … … … Ugh! It doesn't matter, those feelings he probably didn't even have for me in the first place all those years ago are certainly gone now. You don't like him. You don't! … … … _

Cuddy huffed in annoyance with herself and shook her head as if that would help her confusing thoughts go away. She needed to focus on something else now. She got up from the sofa in her office and went over to her computer; it was time to undo some of the damages that House had caused earlier that morning.

Twenty-five miles away, Mikenna was in her car, lost in her own thoughts. She'd had some time to calm down after the huge altercation that occurred back at PPTH and she was actually toying with a few devious thoughts. She felt like she owed House for the extent of the damages he had caused her… and she thought she owed her aunt for not telling her that House and Greg were the same person. She smiled when she started to formulate a plan to kill two birds with one stone… she'd wait awhile for the execution of it all, she didn't want to hurt anyone—quite the contrary actually. By doing what she planned on doing, it might hurt them a little at first, but overall… Well let's just say she was taking a huge risk.

A/N: Well... give me your comments!


	19. Days Go By

Sorry for making you wait all week for a new chapter. Shennanigans (school and health-related) kept me quite busy. But now, the weekend is here and I'm back! Not the longest chapter and not too much happens. I am once again getting things set up for events later on.... Hope you enjoy it and I hope you'll all let me know what you think. Happy reading :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (just O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 19: Days Go By**

It had been about a week since House's revenge and Mikenna's realization; things were finally getting back to normal. Mikenna got everything sorted out with her parents and had finally managed to convince them that she was indeed, NOT pregnant.

House did his job (more or less) and as always, managed to annoy the hell out of Cuddy. Mikenna, on the other hand, was beginning to experience how things really went on a daily basis at PPTH. She had never had the pleasure of knowing how things usually went… everything had always been about executing her aunt's revenge on House and she never quite understood that the amount of bickering they did on a daily basis was completely normal. Mikenna had decided to put her so-called "revenge" on hold until she was more familiar with the way PPTH operated—that is, without someone on the staff trying to "get" another staff member (vengefully speaking, of course). Truth be told, Mikenna was busy learning loads of information from all of the department heads she had been shadowing, especially House (though she'd never admit that to him). She was being bombarded with relevant information _and_ she was stuck in the middle of the ever-bickering Cuddy and House. She was exhausted and she needed an outlet of sorts. She had found a real friend in Wilson… even though they were years apart in body and mind, they both had similar situations (though Wilson had infinitely more experience in this). They were both stuck in between the constant feuding between House and Cuddy. Wilson understood Mikenna's new situation and placement within the workplace and, for lack of a better way of putting it, took pity on her.

Today had been no different than any other day post House revenge. Mikenna had, as usual taken her break around ten to go and see Wilson. It had become part of her daily routine. She trudged down to his office, knocked before entering, then went in, sat down, and put her head on Wilson's desk—clearly demonstrating to Wilson that today was not a good one for a girl named Mikenna. She sighed before finally opening up to her new confidante.

--"Is it so wrong to want to go back before anyone knew who I was here?"

"Why would you want that?"

--"Well, my reasoning that is two-fold. First of all, the staff would treat me normally again. You and House are pretty much the only ones who treat me the same either way. I guess you're just really comfortable with your working relationship with my aunt (or you just don't care, in House's case). Everyone else has started walking on eggshells around me. With the interns, that doesn't bother me so much; I was getting tired of them either bashing Lise behind her back or staring at her a$$ right in front of me. Plus, now I kind of have a little control over them. The rest of the staff though… God, it's like I'm the elephant in the room. No one wants to challenge me; everything is so… nice and good. That's not real life and it bothers the crap out of me. It's like all of a sudden, everyone's afraid to do their jobs when I'm around, afraid I'll rat them out or get them in trouble if they mess up or something. Good grief, I'm not a narc; I'm just the boss' niece."

"Makes sense. Maybe I can say something to some of the department heads about it. Assure them that you're not a double agent, acting as some kind of informant for Cuddy. I'm not sure if they'll believe me, but I'll do my best… What's the other reason?"

--"I wish that things were just the way they were before House knew about what Lise and I were doing to him. Things were fun; House would act up, Lise would punish him. Good times. Now everyone is back to what I guess constitutes as _normal_ and they just bicker and argue all the time."

"It's rough… but you'll get used to it."

--"It reminds me of home… what it was like when my parents were going through their divorce. Only, with House and Lise, I think there's an immense amount of sexual tension thrown into their constant arguing. It's like dysfunction gets them off or something. I just can't even try to rationalize them…"

"I've been trying to make sense of those two for years. Trust me, I don't think you _want_ to make sense of them. It's weird; I think you just have to accept that this is the way things will always be between them and there's nothing you can do to split them up or get them together. I actually think they'd be pretty good together if they both just took their heads out of their a$$es."

Mikenna got lost in her own thoughts after Wilson had said those words. _Well, there's SOMETHING that could be done to either get them together or split them up. He thinks they should get together… Is that a good idea? It didn't end well the first time… but she was really happy while it lasted—and now she has boundary issues with guys. Maybe it's not such a bad idea. Maybe she'd be less miserable with him than without him… Maybe it would make work a little better for everyone. Yeah, it would be for the good of the hospital. OR it might drive them away from each other forever. Still… that might make everyone happier to see them tie off their loose ends. Hmm… ask Wilson._

Wilson had been studying Mikenna in silence, watching her face register the magnitude of her own thoughts. First she appeared pensive, unsure, then she looked almost happy and optimistic, then unsure again and with furrowed brow. He was getting ready to ask her what she was thinking about when she chimed in herself.

--"You might be wrong, Wilson."

"What do you mean?"

--"There might be something we can do to either get them together or drive them apart."

"Yeah, I've said that at least five times before and no good ever came out of it. I've received a truckload of clinic hours and pity-hugs from your aunt; House had my car impounded and he let Steve McQueen wreak havoc in my closet."

--"Steve McQueen?"

"A rat… and believe it or not, that's actually not a metaphor. House had a rat for a brief while."

--"Somehow I'm not surprised, but I do take your discouragement at face value. I respect your advice, Wilson, and I think you're a very intelligent and caring individual, and I don't know what I'd do here if I didn't have you to talk to… but you're also kind of an idiot."

"Excellent disguise, House… or should I say, Cuddy?"

--"Oh calm down… I'm merely trying to explain to you the probable reasons why you failed in your attempts to get them together. You didn't have enough personal information. I think that I do."

"I don't deny that you know loads about Cuddy, but maybe not so much about her love life… and don't even get me started with what you don't know about House. You can't go into these things blind… you'll end up spending the night in jail, hung-over, freshly pulled from a sandbox in Rossum Park."

--"Lisa is like the older sister I never had. We tell each other things; I know a lot about her love-life… even from way back when she was in college and dating House."

"Cuddy and House never dated…"

--"Wow, you really _are_ an idiot, Wilson. Even if you didn't have me to confirm it, just think about it. They went to the same college, they knew each other then, but they never really talk about how well they knew each other, and now twenty years later, they argue like an old married couple that has no secrets from each other. No secrets means no secrets— physically, mentally, whatever. They've got to know quite a bit about each other to be where they are now."

Wilson just sat there, mouth agape. He knew Mikenna's argument had merit; he just couldn't believe it. It just made too much sense not to be one-hundred percent, completely true. He was shocked and somehow not shocked at the same time.

--"You seem to be taking this quite well… When I found out who House was _specifically_, I about had an aneurism. So what do you think? Is this something that I should try?"

Wilson was still in shock, but he finally managed to respond to Mikenna.

"Wh-wha… What do you know?"

--"Don't take this the wrong way, Wilson, but I consider what I know to be strictly personal information… things that I don't think either parties would want anyone knowing. Even you. If I do pursue this, and things do work out, then we can talk then about what I know. Until then however…"

"Do it. If you've got something that revealing, I say do it."

--"You're sure? Even with what's happened to you in the past… you'd be willing to risk all that happening to me?"

"Well, you've got an advantage over me; you know stuff and you're young, and you're related to one of the parties involved… something's bound to happen. If it's bad, then I'll take the fall for you. It's not like I haven't dealt with them before. I'll be here to help you out."

--"Thanks, Wilson. I don't care what House says about you, I think you're a good friend. By the way, I don't think you should say anything to ANYONE about you knowing about this… or the fact that Lisa and House used to be together."

"What makes you think that I…"

--"I've heard from several people in this hospital that you're the blabber-mouth of PPTH. Watch yourself, please… don't make me have to use my connections to find out something embarrassing about you. Now, do you have any advice for me on my style of execution?"

"Well, don't play games… that doesn't usually end well for anyone. I say be up front with them… but don't lie; they'll know if you are. They are both more intuitive than you can ever imagine. It's strange—like a sixth sense or something."

--"Noted. Anything else?"

"You've got to wait until they're both feeling a little unguarded, a little vulnerable, but it has to be at the same time."

--"How long will it take for _that _situation to arise?"

"It's hard telling… sometimes it just happens on its own, sometimes a patient will cause it, sometimes other people randomly show up and cause it themselves. It could happen next week, it could happen next month. You have to be ready no matter what. Don't pressure them, just wait, then when the moment presents itself, say what you want to say and let them deal with it on their own. Meddling any more than that will only bring you trouble."

Mikenna gave Wilson a couple of nods of understanding before she stood up and made her way to the door. She had heard what she needed to hear and she now needed to get back to House's department to finish off her shift with him before lunch. She was half-way out the door when Wilson called to her one last time.

"Mikenna. It's completely normal to be nervous and a little freaked out by all of this, but that just means that you understand the seriousness that surrounds your overall goal. You know that this might affect them. It could be bad… really bad… or it could be the best thing that you've ever done for your aunt. Either way, just know that I'm here to help you if you need it."

Mikenna gave Wilson a wide smile, one that so obviously gave her relation to Cuddy away and she nodded in understanding once more. That Wilson was just so charming and thoughtful.

Mikenna, with the help of Wilson, had made up her mind. Now, all there was left to do was wait.

* * *

A/N: Well... what do you think??? Oh and guess what? I don't have to work at all tomorrow, so I'll have lots of time to write :)

------Chapter 20 will be called "**Nothing Significant Happened Today…"**


	20. Nothing Significant Happened Today

Okay, so I think we've all established that I'm an a$$. I said I'd post on thursday or friday and here it is, Monday, and you're still without something new. I'M SORRY!!! I just got so busy that this took a backseat to everything else. UGH! Feel free to write a letter of complaint to Kansas State University letting them know that they work their students too hard! lol. Well, I have a new chapter for you now. Better late than never, I suppose. I hope you enjoy it... I'm hoping to have the next chapter up sometime this week.

Just as a kind of heads up and miniature countdown of sorts... we're getting soooo close! To what? Well, you can interperet that yourselves. I'd say we've got about three (maybe four chapters) until something happens :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). FOX owns everything else. Lucky ba$tards.  
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**Chapter 20: Nothing Significant Happened Today…**

--"UUUUUUUGGHHH!!! Seriously, this is freaking ridiculous!"

"Something on your mind?"

Wilson quietly studied the huffy and aggravated movements of Mikenna as she plopped down onto the sofa in his office after she so abruptly interrupted his silence. How very House-ian of her…

--"UUUUUUUGGHHH!!!"

It was all she did in response to Wilson's question and all Mikenna got in return from him this time was a look of scrutiny.

--"I'm sorry Wilson. In all fairness I _am_ just a teenager; I'm allowed to act my age every once and a while, regardless of my rather advanced situation in terms of education. This is just so frustrating! I'm trying to be patient and let something happen to put both House and Lise into compromising positions—both mentally and physically, but nothing's happening! Nothing's going on! Even if something _does_ happen, it's always one-sided and it doesn't last but a few minutes… an hour at most. How the hell am I going to get this to work?"

"You're just going to have to be patient, Mikenna. I know the waiting's bad, but you'll just know when the time comes… and I told you it could be awhile. You can't rush these two. I mean, you _really_ can't rush them… twenty years doesn't even seem to be enough time for them to figure things out on their own. Their fate's in the hands of a nineteen year old girl for God's sake."

--"Be patient, are you kidding me? If there's one characteristic that I share completely with House, it would be total and utter IMPATIENCE. I want to get the ball rolling here… I'm tired of waiting. Their bickering is getting more and more frequent and I'm starting to be included in the mix. The other day, House talked about my a$$. He's never really sexually harassed me before, especially not in front of Lisa. Oh, yeah… and _she _yelled at me this morning. ME! She yelled at me like I was one of House's lackeys. What the hell is up with that?!"

"Mikenna!"

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and looked over at Wilson.

--"What?"

"You need to calm down; take a breath; cut down on the caffeine. I know you think that you're being impatient like House, but really you're acting more like your aunt. You need to be in control of the situation and for the moment, you're not—hence the verbal explosion just now. Relax; everything will be fine. The situation you're looking for will present itself before you know it. You just need to be patient or you might end up ruining everything. Okay?"

Mikenna sighed again.

--"Okay, Wilson. Sorry I flipped."

"No worries. You should probably get back to House's department before he starts to get curious."

Mikenna responded with a simple nod of her head. She then got up, straightened out the wrinkles in her skirt, looking very much like her aunt in the process. Took a deep breath, set her gate, and left Wilson's office—but not without giving him a small hug, one that reiterated her gratitude towards him. He thought she was convinced that being patient was the best thing to do in their plot to get House and Cuddy together; he was wrong.

Mikenna was far too impatient to just sit around like some lazy, helpless, bystander and wait for something to happen. It had been a little over a week since Wilson had given her the metaphorical green light to play matchmaker and her patience had just about run out… which is why she had decided to take matters into her own hands. Luckily, her little conference that she'd just had with Wilson kept her from just up and ruining everything by opening her big mouth… No, no, she was going to try to create the 'situation' herself. She was going to try to get them both in a situation where they'd feel vulnerable at the same time and long enough for her to share her privileged information regarding both parties. The game was afoot.  
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Just after lunch, Cuddy had called her and House down to her office for a short meeting. Mikenna was very excited because over lunch she had formulated her little plan. It was simple, she was going to trip Cuddy, right in front of House, and hope that the ba$tard would try to catch her before she face-planted. Simple, quick, and un-complicated, she had seen it done in movies tons of times. She knew movies were not usually accurate portrayals of real life, but this just seemed too easy to not be affective.

House and Mikenna made their way down to Cuddy's office together. She was mostly silent, but House on the other hand had several things to say—things about her aunt, mostly sexual, and things about her… again, mostly sexual. She knew he was just goofing around with her and pulling her chain which is why she smiled frequently and actually laughed a couple of times. Mikenna was actually starting to like the deranged doctor. He could be a total and utter jerk sometimes, but damn, he was just so fun. Once they reached her aunt's office, she tried with all her might to cover up her light-heartedness. She had to be totally and completely professional around Cuddy; everyone did. Only House seemed to be able to get away with acting any other way (well, and Wilson on occasion). The two entered the office and sat down in the two chairs facing Cuddy's desk. The Dean was sitting on the other side, clicking away on her computer. It was a few moments before she finally addressed the two.

"_First off let me just say that neither of you are in trouble… yet. This is a non-formal meeting. I've been receiving some complaints about you. Nothing formal and nothing submitted to me in writing, but I've been asked by a few department heads to speak to you."_

"**I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time that department heads have had something nasty to say about me. Why haven't they made a formal complaint? It's not like they haven't done it before…"**

"_I'm not talking about you, House. I'm talking about Mikenna."_

--"Me? What the hell did I do?"

"_Well, according to some of the department heads that you've been shadowing these last few months, your behavior has changed significantly since you first came here. They've been saying that you're being strong-willed, stubborn, demanding, quick-tempered, opinionated, and quick to take control of just about every situation… all characteristics of the one department head you spend the most time shadowing: House. That's why you're both here."_

"**You're kidding right? They think that I'm to blame for her change in behavior? Oh come on…"**

--"I hate to say it, House, but they might be right. One's behavior tends to reflect that of those they spend the most time with. That would be you. I mean, think about it; you encourage your fellows to ignore the rules, to do anything and EVERYTHING in their power to serve the patient (legal or not), you completely disrupt the hierarchy of power and order in this hospital and you expect me _not_ to start to act like one of your fellows… or even like you?"

"_It does make sense and quite honestly Mikenna, I thought you'd be strong enough to resist that pull towards the dark-side, but perhaps your age doesn't provide you with it. Regardless, I just wanted to make you aware of the situation and also that I'm cutting down the number of hours that you'll spend shadowing House. Instead, you'll spend most of your morning with Dr. Bennet and a few hours in the afternoon with House."_

--"Oh come on, Lise, that's crap! I learn the most when I'm with House. Yeah, he's a little unconventional, but participating in differentials, watching the team during surgeries, interviews, all of that stuff… I'm learning so much where I am now. Plus, it'll look better on a resume, that I've worked a significant amount of hours with Dr. Gregory House. Seriously, you're killing me with this!"

"_I'm sorry, Mikenna, but you should've thought about that before you let House overly influence your behavior."_

At this particular juncture Cuddy obviously felt bad for upsetting her niece, Mikenna was obviously upset, and House had just started chuckling.

"**Oh come off it… both of you. This isn't about me at all. I didn't do anything to affect the kid's behavior."**

"_You're kidding right? You don't seriously think that a switch in her head just flipped and she decided to act like the hospital's most disliked employee on some act of fate? This is SO your doing…"_

"**Wrong again. This is so **_**your**_** doing. This is genetics at its finest. She's not acting like the misanthropic ba$tard of PPTH, she's acting like her demanding, control-freak, administratively bossy aunt, cleavage and wardrobe included. Think about it. Is she actually breaking any rules? Have any lawsuits been filed against her? Is she bribing or sexually harassing anyone on staff? No. She's taking charge, being bossy, and calling people idiots because they're being idiots. She's trying to right the wrongs going on in every department… well, every department except for mine because we all know that the Cuddy women just can't resist me. She's not causing trouble; she's being overly ambitious… kind of like this bootylicious boss that I have."**

Mikenna laughed.

--"Now _that_ makes sense! Do you have any idea how annoying some of those department heads are, Lise? Ever since they found out that I'm your niece, they've been walking on eggshells. They've been acting like they're scared I'm going to purposely get them into trouble if I'm not pleased one-hundred percent of the time. Well, that kind of behavior in itself is enough to annoy the crap out of me, so I just take charge and do what I know needs to get done. Just like you would do in my situation, Lise."

"_I hate that this scenario makes way more sense. Alright, fine. Instead of separating you two, I'm going to add some more time with House to give some of my department heads a break from you. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays will be spent in their entirety with House in his department. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be the same as usual—mornings with House, afternoons with various department heads. That should shut them up."_

"**Wait, seriously? Why am I the one who gets stuck with her? We just established that she's just like YOU; why would I want that around me all day long?"**

--"Because you like me… DUH!"

"**Oh. Right. Who else is going to tell me what color underwear our favorite Dean is wearing on the daily… that is when she's actually **_**wearing**_** them?"**

House and Mikenna laughed at Cuddy's worry-stricken face. Mikenna gave her aunt a very small shake of her head, denouncing what House had just said as a joke, making sure that he didn't catch her in the process. Cuddy let out a small sigh of relief before rising from her chair. Mikenna and House followed suit and got up as well, getting ready to make their exit from her office. This was Mikenna's chance to execute her little plan. House and Cuddy's moods were up and they were in a relatively private place, so they wouldn't have to worry about a crowd. She and House turned and slowly started making their way to the door. House was first. They were both walking slowly because they knew Cuddy, being the professional and the perfect little hostess that she was, would get to the door first and show them out. Their pace was slower to allow her to get by; that was when Mikenna swiftly and cunningly stuck her foot out in front of her aunt's high heels to trip her, and boy did it work.

Cuddy's fall was just like one that you'd see in the movies; it all happened in what almost seemed like slow motion and House played his part perfectly. Her balance was completely off and House had grabbed her before she face-planted into him. Unfortunately, in order to catch her, he had to drop his cane, which threw his own balance off—so instead of Cuddy just crashing into House like they were violently hugging, it looked more like Cuddy tackling him to the floor, which is where they ended up, one on top of the other. _Talk about awkward_, Mikenna thought to herself and watched what the two would do next—hoping that this situation was awkward enough to last so that she could tell them each other's secrets. She didn't say anything, but rather just sat back and watched… not wanting to interfere.

Cuddy, who was still on top of House, was solely concerned with him. She needed to ascertain if he was hurt in anyway. She did so at a very soft decibel because she knew the whole thing was her fault. If only she hadn't tripped she might not have hurt him.

"_House. You okay?"_

His eyes had been shut since they'd hit the floor, but once she spoke to him, he opened his eyes to make note of the situation. He noticed that her raven curls were tousled, both of her hands were on his chest, trapped by her own body weight; he also noticed that the fall caused her blouse to ride up ever so slightly leaving about two inches of bare skin between her shirt and her skirt, which is where his hands currently resided (as his arms were wrapped around her completely). He then looked into Cuddy's eyes to make sure she was okay, but he didn't ask, he just looked into her eyes, knowing that that's where he could always find the truth.

Cuddy on the other hand, had finally taken the time to assess her situation as well. She was on top of House. She could smell him—a mixture of natural man musk with whatever cologne he'd been wearing for the last twenty years. That in itself was just about enough to make her crazy, but it went further than that. She had her hands on his chest; she could feel him breathing… It wasn't the first time that she'd been in this position, but god that had been years ago. She noticed how warm he was… how warm _she _was. _Wait, are his arms around me?_ She felt her heart starting to flutter and she hoped to God that he couldn't feel it, but then she noticed where his hands were. She obviously couldn't see his hands on the bare skin of her back, but she certainly felt them. Then, as if on cue, he ever-so-slightly moved a couple of his fingers across the small of her back. Cuddy's heart sped up even faster, every hair on her body stood up, a kind of pang hit her abdomen and her eyes dialated… then she realized that House was staring at her. _Come on Lise, don't lose it here. You're on top of him for Christ's sake. Get up. Get up!_

House who had been staring into Cuddy's eyes for the last few seconds had lost focus when she had started to squirm a little bit. He squeezed her tighter and looked down. Because she had been fidgeting so much (and because her heart was beating so fast (but House didn't realize)) Cuddy's chest was heaving and it was VERY visible. _Thank God for low-cut tops,_ House thought. He got an eye-full before looking back up to Cuddy and smiling his wiry smile. Cuddy rolled her eyes, making House think that she was annoyed, when really she didn't want to leave her spot. The two were stuck in a stare-down, when Cuddy felt something vibrating around her waist. Her eyes widened and House grinned.

"**I love my job."**

With that he reached down in between the two of them and got his cell phone out of his pocket. Cuddy tried to push herself up, but realized that she couldn't for two reasons: (1) her tight pencil skirt made maneuvering VERY difficult and (2) it was kind of hard to move anyway, when House had a death grip on her… or maybe she just wanted to stay there… it was anybody's argument.

House very rudely answered his phone, then immediately hung it up. Cuddy glared at him for so blatantly shirking his duties in front of her and then tried to get up again.

"_House, I realize that I'm going to catch crap from you for the next year for what I'm about to say, but I need to get up and get back to work. I need you to spread your legs so I can bend my knees. This damn skirt doesn't let me move around so easily."_

"**That was just one giant, "that's what she said"… and I love it when you ask me to spread my legs."**

"_Keep that up and your happy place will be more depressing than the World Trade Center Memorial."_

"**Noted."**

House then let Cuddy get up and then allowed her to help him up. Mikenna had just been standing there the whole time, remaining completely quiet, while the two did their thing. She was a little disappointed when Cuddy's phone began to ring, startling just about everyone in the office. Cuddy made her way back behind her desk to get her phone. Before answering it, however, she addressed both Mikenna and House.

"_Both of you need to get your a$$es upstairs and get to work… and try to stay out of trouble."_

Mikenna looked at House, who was looking at Cuddy with a pensive look and tilted head; he seemed to be very deep in his thoughts, whatever they were. Cuddy snapped him out of it, literally. She snapped her fingers a couple of times to regain his attention and then shooed him and Mikenna out with a gesture.

Mikenna knew that her plan had failed, but she had already formulated another one… actually, two. She was ready to go forward with those plans and would do so tomorrow.

As she and House made their way back up to his office she thought to herself, _That was good… but not good enough. Tomorrow, I'm going to get them and they're not even going to know what happened. Yeah… tomorrow._

Mikenna smiled to herself, beginning the count-down of the hours left until she'd launch the 2.0 version of her plan.  
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A/N: Well? What do you think?


	21. Round 2 Who are you? Part One

Okay... it wasn't my plan to post this in two parts, but I ran out of time last night and won't have a lot of time to write today... so I divided it up. Here's part one... I'm hoping to get part two written and posted later tonight (a lot later) or quite possibly sometime tomorrow.

I also believe that I'm going to post this on . I'll let you know when that's done and where you can find it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 21: Round 2/ Who are you? (Part I)**

Mikenna awoke to a dim view that Thursday morning. The sky was dark and burdened with heavy clouds—clouds that seemed to metaphorically rain on her parade. She wasn't superstitious by any means and it was a good thing too—if she had been, she would have certainly seen this as a bad sign. She shook it off—deciding that she'd fight off the stereotypical meaning of the dark clouds. This particular rainy and gloomy Thursday wasn't going to get her down. No. She had a job to do—a big one. Today was the day that she was going to execute part two of her little game of matchmaker.

She had called those she needed to call last night—knowing that she'd need a little help this time around with what needed to be done to "set her traps". She needed people with certain _abilities_… to carry out her plans. Yes, Mikenna decided that this dismal Thursday was going to be a good day—one of personal triumph. Her future victory was all that was on her mind while she was driving into work. She had Ok Go's "Invincible" playing in her car just to set the mood and get her mind focused on the task at hand. No one could touch her today; she was indestructible and ready for success. The plan, in short was: a push followed by some technical difficulties. It was more complicated than it seemed, but she was ready. Ha. Yes, today was going to be a good day for Mikenna (and for the parties involved for that matter).

Part one of her plan for today was going to be implemented around 10am—roughly thirty minutes after House finally showed up for work. She knew that he had clinic duty today and that Cuddy absolutely hates it when he's late for Clinic. Emotions would be running wild later this morning and Mikenna's objective was to channel those emotions into something positive, something chemical, something that would truly benefit the well-being of her aunt, the misanthropic ba$tard that was House, and consequently the entire hospital. Mikenna was well prepared, and now all she had left to do was wait until 10am; she knew that the time would go fast. She was right.

10am came faster than she ever could have hoped, and it was a good thing too; she was ready to get the show on the road. Ever since the awkward little preview House and Cuddy gave her yesterday in the office, Mikenna had been raring to go—and now the time had come. She worked out this particular part of the plan with one of her friends from school, Audrey. The plan was to have Audrey sitting in the clinic, appearing to be waiting to consult a physician. Her boyfriend would show up around 10am, cause a scene and end up _accidentally _'bumping' into House or Cuddy—whoever was closer. The bump was to serve as more of a push—and Mikenna's ultimate goal was to get the two pinned up with one another again since they seemed to do so well with that sort of situation the day previous. Mikenna had hoped that it would be House that got pushed into Cuddy; Cuddy was on top yesterday and it was only fair to con them equally.

It was 10am. Mikenna was standing at the nurse's station, pretending to fill out House's paperwork for him. House had just finished a consult with a patient and was whining to Nurse Brenda at the other side of the nurse's station. Mikenna at that time, glanced at the clock, then over to her friend Audrey who had been quietly sitting in the waiting room for some time. Audrey, knowing the look her friend was giving her, sent her boyfriend a text message at record speed. Roughly 45 seconds later, a big burly guy in his early twenties burst through the clinic doors, shouting at his girlfriend and causing a huge scene. So far, everything was going to plan… now they had to wait for Cuddy to come out of her office to do damage control. That didn't take long. The boyfriend had just started on round two of his very audible verbal assaults on his girlfriend, when Cuddy had come out of her office, already on the phone with security.

"_Sir? SIR! You need to calm down; you're alarming my patients."_

The guy just kept on causing his scene, seeming to increase in decibel with every sentence and insult he had for his apparent girlfriend.

"_Please, sir. I've called security; please don't make me have you escorted out."_

House, who had been watching the entire scene from the nurse's station, noticed that the boyfriend wasn't going to adhere to Cuddy's wishes. In fact, he was beginning to feel a little concerned for her safety (though he'd never admit it). He started closing in on the scene when the guy started flailing about and pacing… like he was getting ready to hurt someone. Cuddy had backed up against the wall to get out of his way, but House kept on with his approach, wanting to insure that no one (least of all, Cuddy) would be hurt by this maniac.

Throughout this entire scene, Mikenna had been watching Cuddy, watching House, and watching for security. She knew that they had a very small window before someone broke up the shouting match, which is why she was pleased to see that everything was going so smoothly. Cuddy had her back up against the wall and House had approached the situation. When security showed up, Mikenna made a very subtle face at the loudly ranting boyfriend who in turn, _accidentally _'bumped' House, and then turned and ran out of the hospital as quickly as his feet would let him. House on the other hand, had been violently shoved into Cuddy against the wall, leaving the two once again in a rather compromising position.

Cuddy had been able to get her hands up in time to try to slow down the velocity of House's rapidly moving and out-of-control body, preventing him from _completely_ crashing into her. House had dropped his cane and managed to land his hands on the wall, on either sides of Cuddy, also trying to slow down his speed—which naturally sent a sharp pain shooting down his thigh. It had hurt, but it didn't bother him for too long. Cuddy and House were once again left in a rather compromising position and had to deal with the random and rampant thoughts running through their heads.

"**Mmm…"**

"_You okay? How's your leg?"_

"**Not great. Your head? Sounded like you thumped it pretty hard when I crashed into you."**

"_I'll be fine."_

As House's breathing began to slow down indicating that his pain had subsided, the two were finally able to take note of their awkward positioning. They were, once again, completely meshed together—not one millimeter existed in between their two bodies. It was like they were of one entity. Cuddy's heart began to flutter once again—even more so when she realized that her hands were trapped on his chest (again). _Damn! Why the hell does he have this effect on me? I feel like my heart's going to beat out of my chest… I could get used to this position again. If he'd only just… ugh… just do something with yourself, Lisa! _She just stared him into the eyes… almost as if she was waiting for something.

House on the other hand, was struggling with his own thoughts and realizations. He knew he had always had a thing for Cuddy, that he had always wanted her for his own. He just loved it when they lacked proximity—when he was close enough to her to feel her warmth, her breathing—close enough to smell her perfume and stare into those piercing grey eyes. _Wait, is she staring at me? What does that look even mean? Does she… I'll bet she does… I… hope… she does._ He gave her a very _very_ small smile, reiterating to her that yes, he was okay—but it also had another meaning behind it—something that he wasn't sure she'd pick up on. Maybe she understood him. She must've because she continued to stare back at him and gave him a smirk. She looked like she was about to say something, but was prevented from doing so when two security gaurds made their way back into the clinic.

--"Doctor Cuddy. We're sorry, but the guy got away. He took off straight into the O Lot and that's where we lost him. Are you okay?"

Cuddy's attention to the many brilliant shades of light blue in House's eyes was abruptly halted with this announcement. She began fidgeting and ever-so-gently (and with reluctance) started to push House away from her. She had to get back to her job—and a Dean's job is never done, or at least it seemed that way to her sometimes.

"_I'm fine. Get a statement from the girl he was yelling at and maybe a couple of witnesses. We should be covered, but I want to have the statements down just in case. Make sure you get an accurate description of him; we don't want him coming back."_

With that Cuddy turned on her heels, paused, looked awkwardly at House, and then headed back to her office. She had a few phone calls that she needed to make _and_ she needed to work through the crazy whirl of emotions that the events of the morning had provided her. She needed to get her heartbeat back to normal—most importantly, she needed to decide if she _wanted _it to go back to normal.

Mikenna, who had barely moved from her spot by the nurse's station in the clinic, was pleased with the way things had gone down. She sent a text to her friend letting her know that her boyfriend successfully managed to slip by security and that their efforts had not been in vain. Part one of phase two had been a success; she had managed to get House and her aunt in a cumbersome situation once again and she liked the interaction that she saw between them. Yes, she knew that the emotions of the two had been elevated by her staged event… they'd be even more so by the afternoon. Luckily for them, there wouldn't be any patients or staff around. It would just be the three of them and it was all going to go down after lunch.

A/N: Well... what do we think? Are we ready to see what else Mikenna has planned for these two? heehee... I love knowing what happens before everyone else. Yeah, I'm drunk with power. lol. COMMENTS.


	22. Round 2 Who are you? Part Two

Okay... I realize that it's now technially Sunday and I'm late with my posting... but the words took their time coming to me today. Thank you for your patience! I hope you'll all be satisfied with this chapter... it's my longest yet, and quite possibly my new favorite. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). Everything else belongs to FOX.  
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**Round 2/ Who are you? (part II)**

The events of the morning had proved to be very successful and Mikenna was feeling good… feeling confident. She had been able to re-achieve the awkward situation that she had caused yesterday in her aunt's office and she and House were, once again, feeling… well, weird. Part two of her plan for the day was getting ready to commence. She had given Cuddy and House until after lunch to define their feelings—or at the very least, be confused by them. She was getting ready to instigate part two of her plan and oh, it was going to be too good…

Cuddy was in her office. After being pinned up against the wall by House this morning, she had spent most of her time in her office. She went through her paperwork, sent out e-mails, made a dozen phone calls, but they all had taken a back seat to her distracting thoughts. Yes, she could still do her job, but she was lacking real focus; she was too busy trying to dissect the events of the morning. _You don't like him like that anymore… But you still REACT whenever he gets close to you. You like the way he stares, you like the way he challenges you, you like that his insults are never really insults at all. You get him… and even though it's like he's from this parallel universe, he gets you too. You know it's true… and you know that you want him. Otherwise, why were you staring at him this morning in the clinic? I thought he was hurt… You knew he was fine, and continued to stare after that. Stress. It was just stress. Right—then what the hell were you going to say to him before security interrupted? …. …. …Ugh! Okay, so maybe I do like him in that way. It's not going to make any difference; I'm pretty sure he's done even remotely trying to give me a chance. …But why did his behavior change all those months ago when that Kelsey girl was here? Why did he kiss me? Why was he nice to me? Even now—yesterday when I fell on him, today when he bumped into me? Something's there… I can certainly feel it. I can't be completely in the dark and alone on this._

Cuddy's thoughts had finally gotten to her. She ceased doing all of her work and simply sat in her chair, with her head on her desk. _I can't pursue this. I can't. I can't go through everything that I went through back in college. Granted, I'm a stronger person now, but I'm not going to risk everything for House—my career, my happiness, whatever. I can't do that for a guy… even if it is HOUSE. I just can't… at least… not without some kind of signal—assurance of some kind that it might be different than before. Ach, Lisa, now you're just thinking in circles._

Just then, Mikenna interrupted her aunt's confusing thoughts by quietly knocking on the door to her office and entering without waiting for an answer.

--"What's the matter with you? Rough morning?"

"… _I have a headache."_

--"Well, pop an asprin because it's about to get worse."

"_What now?"_

--"House has a new case, and since I'm the youngest person in the diagnostics department, House's unnamed favorite, and the niece of the Dean, I'm the one who has to retrieve him from the clinic."

"_So, what's the big deal? It's not like you've had too much trouble with him before…"_

--"True… however, I know that he hates to be woken up when he's napping, which is of course what he's doing in the clinic at this very moment, and I also figure that his leg might still be bothering him from all the drama this morning. In short, I want you with me, so he doesn't kill me. I'd also like you to act as an escort up to his department; an extra set of hands and eyes could really help me make sure that he gets upstairs. This is for your and my own benefit, you see; we both want and need him to get to work."

Mikenna smiled at her aunt, knowing that she'd agree to help her… consequently walking into her trap. She wished that every day at work could be this fun. The two then made their way to the clinic to retrieve House's lazy a$$.

After this morning's little dramatic episode, House had locked himself in one of the clinic rooms to try and decipher the look that Cuddy had given him while he was pinned up against her. He wanted to figure out what she had been thinking, what she was going to say to him before those two idiot rent-a-cops interrupted. He had thought about it for almost an hour and got nowhere. Instead he just exhausted himself and fell asleep, but apparently his subconscious hadn't given up on solving the puzzle because his dream was very real. His dream was actually a replay of the events of the morning… only when he got down to the moment in question, his brain filled in the blanks.

_**Wait, is she staring at me? What does that look even mean? Does she… I'll bet she does… I… hope… she does.**__ He gave her a very very small smile, reiterating to her that yes, he was okay—but it also had another meaning behind it—something that he wasn't sure she'd pick up on. Maybe she understood him. She must've because she continued to stare back at him and gave him a smirk. She looked like she was about to say something…_

"_Come on. I want to get you checked out and I need you fill out some paperwork since you're one of the staff members who witnessed the scene."_

"_**I'm fine… and why do I have to go fill out paperwork? I'm not the only staff member who saw the idiot kid cause a scene…"**_

_Cuddy smirked again and her eyes dilated ever so slightly, but it was noticeable to him. She then ran her hands, that were still trapped between them, slowly down the sides of his torso, then stepped aside and headed towards her office. As she closed the door behind her, she turned back and smiled at him. He knew that smile; he knew its meaning—which is why he headed in the direction of her office. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him._

_Cuddy had been waiting. She knew he'd follow her. She pointed at the couch in her office and told him to sit. Normally, House would contest anything remotely like this, but the firey dark blue that was emminating through her grey eyes had him intrigued. He had seen these facial expressions before, he had seen her eyes like that before—he just hoped that this time, they were for the same reasons. He made his way over to the sofa and sat himself; Cuddy, after taking off her lab-coat (as she so frequently did when re-entering her office) sat on the coffee table, placed right in front of where House was sitting. She leaned forward, she not only wanted to double-check to make sure that House didn't have any tell-tale signs on his face that he had been lying about his leg; also, it gave him a full frontal view of her cleavage that was no longer hidden by her lab-coat._

"_House, are you sure that you're okay? Your leg's fine?"_

"_**How many times do I need to tell you that, woman? Do you need me to pin you to something else to get the message?"**_

_Cuddy turned a light shade of pink at that last comment, and her eyes dilated again._

"_No…"_

"_**Too bad."**_

_He then ceased her by the arm, yanked her towards him and somehow managed to get her pinned underneath him on the couch._

"_**Satisfied?"**_

_She smirked at him. The fire in her eyes was exceedingly evident now. She knew it; he knew it._

"_Not yet."_

_House smirked._

"_**Good."**_

_They attacked each others mouths without hesitation. There were no barriers, no obstacles of any kind. It was purely chemical, something they knew the other could just do to them. It was unexplicable, but they didn't care; they felt it, they liked it, it set them on fire. It was an effect that only they could generate together. Cuddy's soft lips devoured House's, while his tongue made its way to the far depths of her mouth… it felt to her like he was reaching her soul. After some minutes, they finally broke for some air. Cuddy was breathing hard, bright red, and her eyes had glossed over; passion had overcome her in that moment and she wanted it to continue. She smiled her devious smile at House again and then reached for the bottom button of her sweater. House, also breathing heavily, sat up a little bit to watch this beautiful woman slowly begin to strip off her shirt for him. Both were turned on beyond belief and House, especially with the view of Cuddy doing what she was doing, was starting to get a little impatient. Instead of simply enduring the slow torture Cuddy was providing him, he kissed her passionately after every button had been slowly undone. By the very last button, the two's breathing had become even more audible and strenuous. They were down to the very last button. They knew what would happen when that shirt came off, and they were just itching to get started. Cuddy's hands went up to the button, her fingers worked slowly… she was shaking in anticipation…_

"_HOUSE! Get your a$$ up! You've got work to do."_

House was startled awake from his blissful dream by the one he'd been dreaming about. He cursed himself silently—hating the fact that he'd been caught sleeping once again.

--"Rise and shine cranky-pants. We've got a new patient."

"**I'll meet you up there in ten minutes."**

--"Yeah, right… I'm not an idiot, which is why I've recruited Cuddy here to assist me in escorting your sorry a$$ upstairs. Let's go."

House scowled at Mikenna. He hated how well she was getting to know his persona, his behaviors… He thought that her aunt may have had a little to do with that… and Wilson… and his team. He then stretched, grabbed his cane and exited out of the consult room, behind Cuddy and in front of Mikenna, heading towards the elevators. Mikenna, at the rear, pulled out her cell phone and sent a quick text message and smirked to herself—things were going to get interesting in roughly a minute's time.

As the doors to the elevator closed the three inside, Mikenna held her breath… trying to keep her excitement and unease at bay. Half-way in between the second and third floors is when it happened; the elevator halted with a jerk and they were stuck. Mikenna scoffed and started laughing. She was absolutely thrilled that the little deal she struck with Lou the janitor/ elevator maintenance guy worked out. Well… not so much a deal as blackmail. She told him that if he didn't agree to helping her out she'd tell her aunt that he gave House a master key to every office in the hospital. She was absolutely ecstatic that everything was going as planned, hence the laughter… but the two in the elevator with her were a little confused by her jovial reaction. She needed to control herself… to say something to make them less suspicious of her actions.

--"This is just the best day ever. It's a rainy, gloomy day. Some idiot freaked everyone out in the clinic this morning. House is cranky. Now we're stuck in an elevator. This is almost as fun as trying to convince my parents that I'm not pregnant. Ha."

House rolled his eyes at the whole situation and slid down to the floor. He figured if he was going to be stuck there, he might as well give his leg a break—Mikenna followed suit. Cuddy on the other hand, promptly took out her cell phone and called Lou—she needed to get things up and running again. Of course when he answered, Lou told his boss (as previously instructed by Mikenna) that he had no idea what happened, and that he was trying his best to get things working again. Mikenna knew he was lying; there was nothing wrong with the elevator—it was just turned off. She looked up to her frustrated aunt as she hung up her phone and then motioned for her to join her and House on the floor. Mikenna knew for a fact that they were going to be there for a while… about an hour, actually.

They were bored. VERY bored. Mikenna and Cuddy were sitting next to each other with their legs stretched out. House was sitting opposite them with his legs stretched as well. Mikenna broke the silence first, hoping to initiate her little game.

--"I have a proposition for you House. Seeing as how we're both bored, I want to play a little questioning game with you. Pretty much, I'll ask you a series of questions and you just have to answer them honestly and as fast as you can. Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you anything revealing or stupid. I'm just curious… and bored."

"_God, you sound just like him… curious and bored."_

"**And why the hell would I want to do this?"**

--"Well in return for helping me with my boredom, you can ask me whatever you want _and_ I'll help you prank Wilson."

"**Ha. Like I need your help…"**

--"Oh, I know you don't need my help, but if you want to get him good, you could use my help. He trusts me. He and I… we've bonded, you know. That could really be used to your benefit."

"**You've **_**bonded?**_** Keep an eye on Wilson, kid; he might just end up trying to marry you. I'll play on one condition… Auntie Cuddles plays too."**

"_Nope."_

--"Oh come on. What else are you going to do? There's nothing; we're trapped inside a tiny box suspended three stories in the air. You'll participate… otherwise I'll tell mom that it was House who caused all of the fake pregnancy drama and not one of your stupid interns."

"_Ugh… fine, I'll play, but both of you better behave."_

Mikenna and House both smiled.

--Okay, the object of the game is to answer my questions quickly. It's supposed to help you find out things about yourself that you may not have known. We played it in my psychology class sophomore year. Relax though, I'm not going to ask you any hard questions; everything will be nice and noncommittal. Ready?"

Cuddy and House nodded with reluctance and Mikenna praised herself in her thoughts. _Let the games begin—time to find some common ground for you two to share._

--"What's your middle name?"

"_Elora."_

"**John."**

--"What's its origin?"

"_It's a traditional Jewish name."_

"**It's my ba$tard father's name."**

**--**"Who do you like better, your mother or your father?"

"_Father."_

"**Mother."**

--"What's your favorite color?"

"_Purple."_

"**Green."**

--"Favorite book?"

"_Mansfield Park."_

"**Moby Dick."**

**--**"Okay, now that you both are getting into it, I'm going to ask more difficult questions. Just do as you've been doing and answer them as quickly as possible. This set is just for Lise; House, you'll go next. Ready, Lise?"

--"What's your natural hair color?"

"_Raven brown; what it is now."_

--"Roses or lilies?"

"_Lilies."_

--"Flats or heels?"

"_Heels."_

--"Thongs or commando?"

"_Thong."_

--"Red or black?"

"_Black."_

--"Top-or-bottom-when-you're-having-sex?"

"_Bottom. Wait. What did you just ask me?!"_

Mikenna just laughed at her aunt. She was having waaaay too much fun with this little game of hers and it was only going to get better.

--"Well, Lise, you learn something new every day. Alright, your turn House."

--Magazines or books?"

"**Books."**

--"Known or unknown?"

"**Known."**

--"Natural hair color?"

"**Brown."**

--"Boxers or briefs?"

"**Boxer-briefs."**

--"Red or black?"

"**Black."**

--Top-or-bottom-when-you're-having-sex?"

"**Top."**

Mikenna laughed again when she had finished with House. She could tell that the tension had been building in that tiny enclosed space—things were going just as she had hoped. Now, she was going to push them over the edge. She knew that she was running out of time until the elevator started back up and she had to move fast.

--"Okay, this next set is a little tiny bit more personal, but just try to answer quickly and honestly. You can both answer these at the same time."

--"When was your last fling?"

"_Eight months ago."_

"**27 months ago."**

--"Why did it end?"

"_Too busy."_

"**Got bored."**

**--"**Light or dark?"

"_Dark."_

"**Dark."**

--"Quickie or wait until later?"

(in unison) "Quickie."

--"Rough or gentle?"

"**Both."**

"_Depends."_

--"The best sex you've ever had took place when and where?"

"**College. A sauna."**

House had been caught off guard by his own answer… well, not so much by the actual answer as his lack of filter. He couldn't believe that he had just blurted that out. He blamed Mikenna and that damn dream he'd had earlier… Cuddy on the other hand was in total shock that he had said what he did. She had gasped at his answer and turned and looked at him with her mouth ajar in disbelief.

"_I can NOT believe you just said that! Mikenna knows, you know…"_

"**Knows what? What a sauna is? Well good… I'm glad that college education is really working out for her."**

"_No, you idiot, she knows who you are… specifically, she knows how well we k now each other."_

--"Time out. Time out. You two had sex… in a sauna?"

"_I am not having this conversation right now."_

"… **Yep—and it was hot, literally and metaphorically speaking. And you… you told her about Michigan?"**

"_She figured it out on her own… and you should probably keep your memories to yourself."_

"**I will if **_**you**_** answer the question…"**

"_Ha. No way…"_

"**So Mikenna, your aunt REALLY likes it when guys…"**

"_Kitchen table. Happy now?"_

House chuckled.

--"When did this happen and whose table was it?"

Cuddy cleared her throat and looked at House. He raised his eyebrows at her, awaiting the answer (which of course, he already knew). She bit her lip before responding.

"_College… and I'm not going to tell you whose table it was."_ Cuddy didn't think that _that_ was something Mikenna needed to know. She'd probably never be comfortable in her grandmother's house again, otherwise.

"**I'll tell you whose table it was, kid."**

--"Good lord, that was you too?! Okay, now I'm just getting a little creeped out. Moving on. Why does my mother hate you, House?"

"_She doesn't HATE him…"_

"**Oh come on… she hates me. Think about it, kid; I'm not Jewish; I have been and always will be an arrogant ba$tard, and I'm overly judgmental of shallow people… like yo mama."**

"_They were like water and oil from day one… it didn't get any better because this idiot liked pranking her and purposely getting on her nerves."_

"**Yeah, like you didn't have a hand in any of that…"**

"_Uh… hello? It's Joanna; of course I helped."_

The two laughed, remembering all of the crap they put Cuddy's older sister through in good sport. The mood in the elevator had lightened and they had opened up to each other about a few things. Mikenna was feeling really good about herself—like today just might be the day that House and her aunt finally pulled their heads out of their a$$es and jumped each other. She felt like her part was now done, and it was all left up to them. Just as she had resolved on her mission being complete, the elevator started up again. Mikenna quickly got up and pushed the button for the third floor and waited for the doors to open.

--"I've got to run back downstairs really fast. I think I left my bag down there after lunch. Yeah, I'll be taking the stairs. I'll be back up to your office in about five minutes, House. Lise, I'll see you later."

With that she hopped off the elevator on the third floor and scurried down the hall, leaving House and Cuddy alone in the elevator for the rest of the ride to the fifth floor. They were silent at first, but Cuddy huffed and then addressed House, who stood next to her.

"_I'd prefer it if you didn't share anything else about… our past with Mikenna. It's not that I'm ashamed of it or anything; I'm just a different person now. She doesn't need to know that you can get away with being wild and crazy and then end up running a hospital."_

"**Fine with me… but you should know two things Cuddy."**

She turned toward him, and he toward her.

"_What?"_

"**There's nothing wrong with being wild and crazy… and not much has changed since then."**

Cuddy blinked a couple of times, completely taken off guard with what he'd said. Did that mean that he still wanted her? It had to have meant that… otherwise why would he have said it? Even more so, why would he be leaning in towards her now? After spending the last hour trapped in an elevator with House, Cuddy was feeling a little more sure of her feelings… and of House's for that matter. She decided that she was going to throw caution into the wind. She wouldn't stop House from leaning in and kissing her. No. In fact, she met him half way. Their kiss was short, soft and chaste… but very sweet. They stared at each other for a few seconds and moved to share another kiss, but the elevator doors opened and they were both shocked by what they saw. Well, not so much what, but whom.

"Hi Greg… Lisa."

Cuddy was shocked to silence.

"**Hello… Stacy."**

A/N: What do you think??? COMMENT!!!


	23. A Note to My Readers

Great news, readers!!! My brain is finally working again (trust me, it hadn't been for a while) and I'm writing! I'm hoping to have a new chapter up sometime today, so be on the look-out!!! Can't wait to hear back from you all; it's been sooooo long.


	24. He Said She Said

**Chapter 22: He Said/ She Said…**

"**Hello… Stacy."**

"Hello Stacy,"… It was all House could manage to utter. He had been completely caught off guard—something he hated. He was the kind of man who always wanted to be in the know, to be completely aware of the settings that surrounded him. There was no way he could have foreseen this—granted, there was no way he could have foreseen the little romantic episode of sorts that had been going on in the elevator moments before with Cuddy. It was Stacy. Stacy: one of the two women he had ever truly loved. He didn't know how he felt seeing her again. Should he be happy to see her? She did mean something to him—at the very least she used to… but something else confused and jumbled his feelings in general about the woman: anger, sadness, and disappointment. In a way, Stacy was to blame for the less than optimal use of his leg. She had been the one to initiate and allow for this to be done to him—against his wishes, no less. Yes, it was very hard for House to pin-point how he truly felt about seeing her again. The fact that the last time that they had seen each other they were partners in adulterous crime added to his pensiveness. Confused and surprised were the worlds that would epitomize the man's feelings. Cuddy's feelings on the other hand, seemed to be much easier to pin-point… _much _easier.

The scene in the elevator moments before had given Cuddy hope. She was beginning to think that maybe being with House (whatever that meant to both of them specifically, she did not know) wasn't such and implausible, improbable, imbecilic idea. She was beginning to think that House had the ability to be sweet; he'd be able to demonstrate to her his feelings (in his own House-ian way, of course). But her newfound hope was severed, cut short at the very sight of Stacy. She was surprised to see Stacy, naturally, but what (she thought) her arrival meant in terms of House hit her hard and left her sad and disappointed. Cuddy believed that for some reason she just couldn't compete with the woman. Stacy and House had lived together—had been a true couple, and not for a small time, but for years. Cuddy felt that there was no competing with that. Sure she and House had a history, but he and Stacy had one too—one immensely more complex than his with her. Cuddy knew that he deserved to be happy. Everyone deserves some happiness, however fleeting it might be. House was happy with Stacy, she wouldn't interfere. Of course she didn't really like the thought of them being together again, but she'd be the one to bow out gracefully in the end—she knew that and that's what saddened her the most.

The air around the three had begun to get stale. Everyone was feeling a little awkward and someone needed to say something before the tension killed them all. Stacy certainly looked like she had something to say, but seemed to hesitate. This didn't go un-noticed by Cuddy or House. House had nothing to say because he was still trying to formulate his own thoughts—trying to sort through his old feelings for her, his new feelings for _others_, and his assumptions as to why the hell Stacy was here standing in front of him once again. Cuddy, on the other hand, hated situations like this. She recognized that Stacy needed to speak to House, rationalizing that she sure as hell wouldn't be here otherwise. By that time, her mind had started rambling—firing one strenuous and fleeting thought after another. _God, she always shows up when she needs something from him. Wonder what she's going to do to him this time. What the hell happened to that husband of hers? Did he find out that she slept with House. IDIOT! Why do you care? Forget it; forget everything. Go back to your office and get back to work. There's nothing you can do to stop them from doing whatever it is they're going to do. Great, now I'm rambling like a moron. Time to go._

At this particular juncture, House had finally stepped off the elevator towards Stacy, assuming that Cuddy would follow, but he was mistaken. He turned back towards her with a questionable look upon his face. Cuddy responded to him with a quick and tight-lipped smile before speaking—all without motioning like she was going to follow him. She whipped out her cell phone and glanced at it before addressing the two.

"_I really need to get back to work. I'll let you two catch up. Stacy, as always, it's great to see you. Stop by my office later if you have some time to chat. House… you have clinic duty this afternoon. This is your one friendly reminder; please don't make me have to send out a search party looking for you."_

"**Are you the only member of the search party? If you are, make sure you have your gun, and we can continue the conversation we were having just moments ago when you find me. Sound good Tex?"**

Cuddy raised her eyebrows in slight disbelief. Had he actually made that comment seriously? And to say something like that in front of Stacy no less… Maybe she could compete with Stacy after all.

"Don't worry, Lisa. I'll keep tabs on him and make sure that you don't have to send out the troops. Consider me as House's low-jack of sorts for the day."

House and Stacy laughed together. Cuddy on the other hand had reverted back to her original beliefs and pushed the button for the first floor. The doors then closed her in shortly after, and she descended back to her office… without a word, feeling defeated.

House and Stacy made their way back to House's office.

"**Why are you here?"**

"I was in the neighborhood, and I figured I'd stop by and see you."

"**Oh, cut the crap. Why are you **_**really**_** here?"**

"I'm thinking about moving to this area."

"**You? Just you? Mark has no say in this?"**

"Mark and I split up almost a year ago."

"**Another one bites the dust. And now… you just thought you'd move to Jersey because it's further away from your family and friends? That seems logical… Oh, wait, no; that seems moronic. Why. Are. You. Here?"**

"I miss you."

There it was. House was kind of suspecting that kind of response from her. Ever since he first saw her face in the hallway, getting out of the elevator, he could tell that she wanted him back in her life again. But, things were different now for him. He had grown a little bit—emotionally speaking. Things with Cuddy… they were _different _than those times before. He actually felt like he was getting somewhere. However, her behavior moments ago, after seeing Stacy, seemed to suggest that she'd taken a step back. So many things were shooting through his mind at that particular instance. He wasn't sure how he should respond to Stacy's blunt confession, so he didn't. He just waited in silence for Stacy to say something more. Something that could help him to better organize his thoughts.

"After you and I… The last time. Mark, he figured it out. He knew that I still—that I still wanted to be with you. He tried really hard to make me forget you, but he obviously failed. I thought that maybe—with the way things ended last time—you might still…"

House understood what she was saying. He knew where she was going with her speech. For some reason, he just wasn't in the mood to hear the rest. He was confused enough as it was and he had a lot to think about. Luckily for him, Foreman, as if knowing his boss wanted to evade the woman sitting in front of his desk, burst through the glass door.

"We've got a case."

"**Great. Let's go."**

He glanced back at Stacy as he exited the room, still not really knowing what to say.

"Later," she said with a small smile.

House gave her a curt nod, turned on his heel and exited the room. He needed time and space away from the woman he left in his office. He needed to think. A new case was the perfect excuse to get away.

Meanwhile, Stacy headed down to Cuddy's office. They had something major to discuss. Mikenna, seeing the strange new woman exiting House's office went to seek out Wilson for some information. Something was up and she wanted to know just what that was. She didn't need any more obstacles in the way of her match-making objectives.


	25. 411? Not my Call

Okay! Well this all started out this morning while I was NOT paying attention in my English620 class, and you know... I don't regret it. lol. This doesn't have all of the scenes that I really wanted in this chapter, but I found a good stopping point-- I don't like my chapters to get too lengthy. Besides, I've got great plans for the chapters to come. Happy reading everyone; I hope you enjoy it and as always, feel free to let me know what you think!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing (except O/C's). FOX owns everything else.  
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**Chapter 23: 4-1-1? Not my call…**

_Knock, knock, knock._

Wilson glanced up at his door, ninety-percent sure of who could be knocking—seeing as how very few of the people in his life did anything but barge in whenever they pleased.

"Come in, Mikenna."

She entered and closed the door quietly behind her. She then slowly made her way to the small couch on the far side of Wilson's office. She plopped down and sighed. Wilson observed her doing this, trying to read her mood. She didn't seem overly happy—but she didn't have a defeated look about her either. Rather, she seemed just plain tired. Mikenna leaned her head back on the couch, closed her eyes, and sighed again before Wilson couldn't wait any longer.

"So? How did your evil plan turn out?"

--"How did you know I carried out a plan?"

"I ran into Lou, the maintenance guy. He assumed that you and I were in cahoots and spilled the beans about your operation. You're pretty brave for getting the staff involved in all of this."

--"Well, I'm the boss' niece. I figured I could use that to my advantage in this situation. I know I told you that I'd let these "situations" between Lise and House presents themselves, but I've got the patience of my aunt—meaning it's basically non-existent."

They laughed.

"So… tell me. How did it go? The building's still standing, so it couldn't have been too bad. Then again, House didn't barge in here all confused and denying everything either—so it couldn't have gone that well. Spill it."

--"Actually, I think it went quite well. We played a little game of twenty questions (sort of) in the elevator. It was… revealing to say the least."

"How the hell did you get them to do that?! And… what do you mean "revealing"? What did you find out?"

--"Don't be mad, but I kind of told House that I would help him prank you if he participated. I also tapped into his boredom—he likes it when you use logic. I flat-out bribed Lisa into playing. I never thought I'd say this, but spending all this time with House has really paid off in terms of social interactions."

"He would be so proud… Ha. So really, what did you get out of them?"

--"Well there were several small things that I'm sure you already know about them—but, I found out that Lise likes bottom and House likes top when they have sex—not together obviously, but it's just their individual preference. Coincidence? I think not! My proof? Apparently, the best sex they've ever had was with each other, back in college. I never knew how kinky my aunt was—House obviously radiates that kind of vibe… but Lisa… who knew?"

"You got them to admit the best sex they've ever had was with each other?! You're… You're… a genius!"

--"Oh, Wilson… that's not even the half of it. Apparently, they can't exert their animalistic tendencies like normal human beings… House's favorite was with Lise in a sauna and Lise's favorite was on a kitchen table (with House, of course)."

"I don't know whether I should be excited you got them to confess this to you, be shocked by the information itself, or be grossed out by the fact that you're talking about the sexual conquests of my two best friends."

--"Um… hello? One's my boss and the other is my aunt! Anyway, when we finally got power back in the elevator, I got off a few floors early—leaving them alone. Lisa seemed kind of nervous—almost giddy, and House seemed almost happy (at the very least amused)."

"So things went _very_ well for you today! Why aren't you happy? It's been a successful day and you should be _very_ proud of yourself. You did something in a matter of weeks—something that I've been trying to initiate for years…"

--"I'm worried."

"What? That House is gonna screw it up? He probably will, but believe me, your aunt will certainly have something to do with it too. I wouldn't worry too much—they need to go down this road."

--"No. It's not that I'm having doubts about them together. When I got back upstairs, the air seemed to have changed. It seemed like they had already taken a _HUGE_ step back."

"Why do you say that?"

--"This woman. I don't know who she is, but she was there waiting for them when the elevator opened. Their moods immediately changed for the worse. It's kind of freaking me out how this woman affected them so much just with her presence."

Wilson's eyes squinted. He was wracking his brain—searching his memory, through the select and very few mutual acquaintances of Cuddy and House—the female ones. Then… it clicked. He hoped to God that his assumption was wrong and shook his head.

"What does she look like?"

--" Tall. Dark hair. Determined gait. She had an annoying and slightly southern drawl when she spoke. I don't know why, but I felt the ever-pressing need to attack the woman. I know that's totally irrational…"

"No, I think that's a Cuddy thing. This is bad."

--"Why? Who is she?"

"Her name is Stacy, and your match-making plan just got significantly more difficult."

Wilson then took his time explaining to Mikenna who exactly Stacy was and what this meant in terms of House and Cuddy. He explained to her that Stacy was like a drug to House… a bad one—one worse than his beloved vicodin. Cuddy and Stacy were notorious "frenemies", and most of the staff assumed that they secretly wanted to pull each other's hair out. The extent of Mikenna's worry increased a great deal with each fact that Wilson gave her. It was time to think about her next move. Perhaps she would just play it by ear for the time being. Who knows? Maybe it will just work itself out and Stacy would be gone by the end of the day… According to Wilson, no one had seen her in a couple of years anyway… Yes, playing it by ear was the rational thing to do. If things didn't work out, then she knew she'd probably have to do something rash. Mikenna hoped for the best.

Meanwhile… down on the first floor. Stacy made her way to Cuddy's office to have a little chat.

From the time that Cuddy had left House and Stacy on the fifth floor and left for her own office, she'd been trying to refocus on the incredulous amount of paperwork that she needed to get done. Unfortunately, the day's events thus far were keeping her mind preoccupied. Her new goal was to get focused enough to go and kick ass at her meeting. She had been pacing the length of her office, clicking a pen in her left hand, failing miserably at refocusing herself. She was just too distracted. She thought that she had enough time to go down to the cafeteria and get some caffeine before her meeting to get her mind turning in the right direction, but all hopes of that were shot down with two little knocks on the door to her office, followed by Stacy's head popping through a small crack in the door.

"Got a minute?"

"_I've got about ten and then I've got to head upstairs for a meeting. What's up?"_

"I guess I'll just cut to the chase; I wanted to talk to you about possibly working here at PPTH again."

"_Is everything okay? Is Mark sick again?"_

"As far as I know, Mark's fit as a fiddle. We split up about a year ago."

"_Oh, so… your working here wouldn't be temporary like last time?"_

"I was hoping for something relatively permanent. I'm trying to find a place to move in the area as well."

"_I see. …Would your moving here and request for your old job back have anything to do with a certain misanthropic diagnostician?"_

Cuddy knew that question wasn't _really _her business, but she rationalized asking it. It was in the best interest of the hospital to understand Stacy's M.O. To be perfectly honest, Cuddy was feeling a little giddy again, but not in a good way. She felt like some sort of animal, trained to kill when they hear the word. Cuddy felt like Stacy was just dancing around that word… whatever it was.

"Honestly, yes. I'm hoping to get back together with Greg. I've already talked to him very briefly about it, but he got a case. We're going to continue our discussion on the matter later."

Cuddy blinked back the urge to just get up and shove her out of her office, as violently as need be. She didn't want to put up with her crap. Most of all, she didn't want her dragging House back into the dramatic little cloud that always seemed to hover over Stacy's head. She'd had enough of dealing with that in the past. It was go-time. Time to give it to Stacy straight. If she didn't like what she had to say, fine, she could try to find a job somewhere else.

"_Okay well, there are a couple stipulations to all of this. First off, the hospital already has a lawyer on retainer. Seeing as how his track record is pristine and I have no grounds to fire him, you'd be working with him in tandem. This also means, since there will be two of you, that your salary won't be the same as it was the last time you were with us."_

"I can surely live with that; it makes total sense. So, great! It's great to be back on the PPTH team."

"_I wasn't quite finished. Although the final decision to rehire you is mine, House has to be totally and completely, one-hundred-percent okay with you're coming back. You can talk to him personally about it, then come and talk to me about how things went, and then I'll talk to him about it. I'll make my final decision from there."_

"That… does not seem very rational at all. Lisa, Greg has nothing to do with my wanting to work here specifically."

"_I'm sorry, Stacy, but my decision on this is final. You want to work here, you're going to have to jump through a few hoops."_

"Aside from the fact that your terms are on the borderline of being straight-up unlawful, I take slight offense at the fact that you can't apparently seem to trust be solely on my professional skills. No, you have to drag my personal life into this."

Cuddy's eyes widened. That little speech that Stacy just gave, acted as the kill-word. She wanted nothing more than to lunge at the woman sitting on the other side of her desk and scrape and claw at her until that smug look was erased off of her face. Maybe then she'd keep her back-handed comments to herself. But Cuddy couldn't do that; she had to remain professional. Instead, she took a deep breath to calm herself. She then cleared her throat before speaking in a very soft and calm tone—her boss tone—the one that made the interns fear her so much.

"_I'm sorry that I've been forced to drag your personal life into this situation, but I've learned from previous experience that it's completely necessary. I have my hospital's greatest interest in mind. It's my job as the Dean to protect all of the people it contains: its patients and its staff. Now, I've learned from the past that your presence here in my hospital has at the very least, a serious probability of effecting certain members of my staff. Namely, Dr. House who's the hospital's biggest asset. I can't have you tearing through personal boundaries here like you have before in the past. Frankly, Dr. Wilson and I hate having to clean up the metaphorical mess that you tend to leave behind. So again, I'm sorry that I have to drag your personal life into your professional realm, but with your record (combined with House's) I'm left with no alternative. My decision, as I said, is final. You can work through this process cordially and hope to work here, or you can refuse and look for a position somewhere else. It's your call… not mine."_

By the end of Cuddy's little declaration, Stacy's brow had furrowed and her jaw was protruding—clearly from biting down so hard. She was mad. She didn't think that Cuddy had any right to do this to her. She could probably sue for unlawful practices during the hiring process… but that would certainly prevent her from ever working at PPTH ever again, and she desperately wanted to. She sighed to calm her nerves a little bit.

"Fine. I'll go talk to Greg. I'll redirect him your way when we're finished."

Cuddy gave Stacy a tight-lipped smile. She wondered if Stacy's arrogant and sure demeanor was truly warranted and whether House would really go for this again. She hoped for everyone's sake that he wasn't. It really wasn't in the hospital's best interest to have Stacy back. Plus she knew how she affected House—and truthfully, she didn't want to have to clean up _that _mess again. Stacy returned Cuddy's tight-lipped smile with one of her own. She rose from the chair in front of Cuddy's desk and made her way to the door. Before exiting the room completely, she turned back towards Cuddy.

"It's nice to see that you haven't changed, Lisa."

Cuddy gave her another tight-lipped smile.

"_Likewise,"_… Stacy then exited the room and Cuddy spoke to no one, _"I still think you're a total b^tch too."_

It was time for Cuddy to leave for her meeting upstairs and she was frustrated beyond a doubt. It was going to make kissing all those pompous asses all the more challenging for her. Stacy was trying to make a comeback…. and Cuddy was going to try her damndest to keep that from happening. She rationalized the situation while she walked towards the elevators. Stacy had had several chances with House—several opportunities to make things right with him, but she messed it up. She always did. Why should she get another chance? She continued to rationalize her behavior and the situation at hand on the lift up to the third floor… dancing around every excuse for her less-than-cordial behavior towards Stacy-- except for the real reason. She was just straight-up jealous… not to mention pissed off at Stacy's general audacity of making so many assumptions. She was ready for the woman to be gone and out of everyone's hair forever. Hopefully, House would make the _right_ decision.


End file.
